Mean Betty: Galliano On Trial, “He Took Valium Like Candy”
For an avant-garde designer, Galliano is using a classic defense.
Kittens, when Meanie heard that John Galliano’s (Dior’s ex-designer) trial kicked off yesterday, she was hoping for some thrilling fashion.
Oh lambies, Meanie was soooo disappointed! Instead of hearing and seeing new fashionable news, Galliano’s lawyer Aurelien Hamelle trotted out the same sorry excuse that every celeb under the sun uses when their hand is caught in the cookie jar. It was the drugs and alcohol talking, not Galliano! Hamelle told The New York Times, “Some things may have come out of his mouth that didn’t come from his brain.” One wonders which body part is in charge of Galliano’s brain, right kittens?
Tracy Morgan can blame his rant on stupidity and get away with it. Amy Winehouse can sing about not going to rehab — her latest concert tour cancellation shows she’s doing so well. Jesse James can well, you know, claim he’s not a D-bag. Demi Lovato acts badly, slaps dancers, goes to rehab… gets away with it… oh kittens, the list goes on and on of celebs using stupid excuses for stupid behavior.
According to Galliano’s lawyer, he’s not an anti-semite. He didn’t break France’s stringent hate crimes law by telling one woman at a bar that he, “loved Hitler,” and then later on in the same video proceeded to tell her, “Your mother, your forefathers would be f—ing gassed and f—ing dead.”
Nope. According to Hemelle, Galliano was swimming in a sea of alcohol and drug addiction. He told Reuters that Galliano had a “triple addiction to alcohol, Valium, and sleeping pills.” With a hobby like that, one wonders how Galliano was able to breathe, much less design clothes, right kittens? So, my little hamster ears, the videotaped rant that went live in February and the event in September and oh, wait for it, the other witnesses who came forward after Galliano was arrested, who told of similar hate spewing speech, were all just victims of a temporary aberration.
In Meanie’s world, “temporary aberration,” means accidentally waking up in the litter box after having one too many drinks health tonics in the morning. It doesn’t mean consistently spouting hateful comments. Then again, Jesse James’ “temporary aberration” meant that his pants kept slipping off at odd moments around tattoo addicts. Poor Jesse, he found himself doing vigorous team calisthenics in odd places like his garage. Hamelle says that his client “took valium like candy.” Lambkins, do you think Galliano thought they were candy?
Mean Betty knows that whether you’re drunk or sober, people pretty much say what they think. Possibly, Galliano thought he was above the fray and wouldn’t be caught and have to enjoy a six-month jail term and pay a $32,000 fine.
Kittens, we all know what the outcome of this trial will be, even though the judgment won’t be made public for a few months. Galliano will write a “tell-all” memoir, go on the talk show circuit and become a media darling.
Oh kittens, if only he had made a sex tape! It would have been so much easier to spin!