Mean Betty: Justin Bieber Smashes Cakes, Is 'Kind of a Brat'!

Justin Bieber punches defenseless cakes!

Mean Betty: Justin Bieber Smashes Cakes, Is ‘Kind of a Brat’!

The truth about the wonderboy … Justin Bieber punches defenseless cakes!

-Mean Betty

marg helenberger justin bieber 

Mean Betty was relaxing this past weekend, lolling about in the garden, enjoying the warmth. Whilst Meanie idly sipped her morning margarita health tonic, the butler twiddled with the stereo system. Magically, he found a French radio station, Europe 1! Weirdly, Mean Betty heard an American voice replying to French questions. It was CSI: Crime Scene Investigation’s Marg Helenberger.

The interview started off cute, as they always do, kittens. Marg was asked what was new for the show; she replied that she asked for and got a boyfriend written into the series. As she was lulled by the niceness of her multiple interviewers, one finally asked what it was like to work with the god of pop, Justin Bieber. Marg rolled her eyes at the mere mention of the name that strikes psychopathic lust in 11 year olds!

The interviewers, the studio audience, all of France and even Mean Betty’s gardener waited with bated breath to find out what she thought of him. “He wasn’t bad,” Marg said.

Then she paused — kittens, she paused! Ooooh, to find out what was living in that pause!

Marg continued, “He had never acted before … I mean, I know I shouldn’t be saying this … he was kind of a brat.”

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A brat! Oh heavens, my little ewe lambs, Marg called Justin Bieber a brat! How could that peach-skinned, big-eyed, dancing, singing wonder-boy be a brat? Meanie almost fell off her chaise trying to listen to the dulcet tones of Marg defaming and defiling Justin!

Marg continued on with her well-modulated, smiling rant: “He was very nice to me, but he locked a producer in a closet and put his fist through a cake that was on the cast’s table.”

Well! Meanie can understand locking a producer in a closet. Producers are nasty, nasty people. Producers make you do horrible, wretched things like work. But a cake? A poor innocent floury, iced confection? What could a cake do to Justin?

Should the world’s bakers now lock up their shops when Justin is in town? Should people hide their bags of cookies, tarts, boxes of donuts, or any frosted treat if there’s a vague chance that Justin Bieber might glance at it and then wreck violent havoc on it, even if it’s a Girl Scout cookie?

Justin Bieber, please stop the violence! Justin Bieber please no more cake wreckage!


Mean Betty

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