Mean Betty: Kristen Stewart, Put Down the Ice Cream and Start Showering Again!

Rumor has it that Kristen Stewart is spending much of her time wallowing in self-pity-and that she has stopped showering as well. Meanie thinks it's time for her to get off the cou

Mean Betty: Kristen Stewart, Put Down the Ice Cream and Start Showering Again!

Rumor has it that Kristen Stewart is spending much of her time wallowing in self-pity—and that she has stopped showering as well. Meanie thinks it’s time for her to get off the couch!

-Mean Betty

Kristen Stewart

Kittens, Meanie was going to try very hard not to go near the whole Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders debacle. Meanie doesn’t condone carrying out sordid affairs with one’s coworkers, especially when both parties happen to be with other people; but as far as Meanie can see from the rampant media coverage of the event, Kristen is very aware of the fact that she made a rather large mistake, and calling her names does not address any issues she isn’t already familiar with. By the same token, Meanie believes that it has become abundantly clear that Rupert, who is older and married with two children, also exercised poor judgment; the lesson learned is that there are better ways to deal with marital issues than by having an affair. Everyone involved—Kristen, Rupert, Liberty Ross, Robert Pattinson, everyone—is struggling to deal with the aftermath, but because they happen to be public figures, they are in the unenviable position of having to do it with all eyes on them. Indeed, Meanie wonders that when so many scenarios not too dissimilar from this one occur in the private lives of normal, everyday people occur every day, what makes their Hollywood counterparts such big news in the first place?

But then Meanie heard the following, and she feels that it is worth addressing:

Rumor has it (according to RadarOnline and several other gossip outlets, at least) that Kristen has been staying with producer Giovanni Agnelli since allegedly moving out of the home she shared with Rob. A source (anonymous, of course, bringing with it all the usual questions and concerns such sources inspire), “Kristen is acting like a heartbroken teenager,” crying her eyes out and shutting down on the communication front. The source went on to say, “She is beyond mortified and humiliated and she is also broken hearted. She says she truly loved Rob. She says he was her soul mate, but she blew it and now she is scared that she has lost him forever.”

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But none of these things really set off the warning bells for Meanie. No, that dubious honor goes to this little tidbit: Kittens, apparently “Kristen hasn’t showered or changed or washed her hair in several days. She is laying around in her T-shirt and shorts and eating ice cream. She really wants to believe that she can win back Rob,” Radar’s mysterious source confided, “but I think deep down she knows that isn’t the case.”

Oh, Kristen. Of COURSE you are acting like a heartbroken teenager; you are young enough to almost still BE a teenager. Perhaps we have gotten so used to seeing you everywhere for so long that we have begun to overestimate your age, but for all your fame, fortune, and sometimes questionable interview quotes, you are still only 22—not that far away from 19—and 22-year-olds make mistakes all the time. You have taken some good steps so far; indeed, you may have been dealing with the consequences of your indiscretion more maturely than Rupert, who is nearly twice your age.

But please, Kristen: Get off the couch, put down the ice cream, and start showering again! It will be hard—and Meanie thinks you know this already—but you cannot simply hide away for the rest of your life. It’s time to get out there and get working again. Try to make amends with Rob if you can. Liberty Ross probably deserves some sort of reaching out as well (which you appear to have already thought of yourself—this is good). It is possible that Rob will not take you back, and this is simply something you will have to live with. But again, let Meanie say it: You are only 22. You have the entire rest of your life to live, and the most we can ever make of our mistakes is to learn from them and carry on. Use this unfortunate event to better yourself.

Of course, this IS RadarOnline we’re talking about here; and as the butler so kindly reminded Meanie just a moment ago, RadarOnline is one of those breakfast-time reads one must take with rather a large grain of salt. But still, kittens: A lack of personal hygiene never helped anyone get ahead in life—not even Kristen Stewart.

Speaking of, Meanie believes it’s time to get out of dressing gown and into a hot shower herself. For aren’t long, hot showers truly one of the great joys in life?


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0 thoughts on “Mean Betty: Kristen Stewart, Put Down the Ice Cream and Start Showering Again!

  1. Problem is that I don’t think anything RadarOnline wrote is actually true. I have no idea if Kristen is eating ice cream and not showering, but I’m pretty confident neither does RadarOnline.

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