Mean Betty: Mariah Carey Pregnancy Rumor Wields Its Ugly Head… Again
Glittery fetuses are pretty!
Mean Betty is confused, kittens. How is it even possible for Mariah Carey to get pregnant? A) She’s at least 65-years-old and B) Isn’t she a tranny? Since when can behemoth boys who dress in drag reproduce?
These scientific factors aside, HollyBaby is reporting that Mariah and her hubby Nick Cannon are four months pregnant. So now Mariah will have two babies if you count little Nicky as her first. This is at least the tenth time in the past four months some source close to the couple has given an exclusive report that the butterfly-obsessed-bimbo-who-now-makes-Christmas-albums-for-a-living is with child.
Mean Betty doesn’t know about you, pets, but she is tired of these false alarms already. Can’t everyone just wait a few more months to find out? Mean Betty promises that you will all know for sure if you demonstrate just a hair of patience. You see, little lambs, the crazy thing about getting pregnant is—eventually a baby arrives. Funny how that works. Every time Mariah shows a bit of her blubber the media gets its panties in a major bunch only to find out they were wrong, yet again.
There is a reason for her weight gain, poppets. No, she hasn’t taken to popping Cheetos a la Britney Spears. Mariah took fertility drugs to get pregnant, according to an insider, who says, “the fertility drugs were the reason for her weight gain earlier this year.” Oh, so that’s how trannies get pregnant. Pardonnez moi, but Mean Betty has to go call RuPaul immediately and tell him the good news.