Mean Betty: Mel Gibson vs. The Footlong Cheeseburger
Which is more revolting? You decide!
Mean Betty has a confession to make, darlings. She’s been listening to audio of that psychopath Mel Gibson ranting and raving every night before bed. It really lulls a gal to sleep.
The moment the recording gets to the part where he yells, “I bend over backwards with my balls in a knot,” Mean Betty is out like a light. Mel Gibson is so the new Ambien. Because no matter how crazy one may be oneself, one can rest assured, Ol’ Mel-boogie definitely has one less oar in the water, and that makes falling asleep as easy Paris Hilton after two Cosmos.
Incidentally, why is it that Mel is breathing so heavily on these tapes, Mean Betty is just wondering, mes cheries? Is he in a closet being naughty with a noose around his neck whilst yelling ferociously at Oksana Grigorieva? Seems likely.
In fact, Mean Betty almost can’t decide who is more disgusting: Mel Gibson or that new Carl’s Jr. footlong cheeseburger Mean Betty keeps reading about this week. Which is more deadly, do you suppose? Stay away from this burger at all costs, Mean Betty insists. However, pets, if a gun is ever put to your head (especially since we all know Mel carries one) and you are forced to choose between consuming one of these greasy, heart attack-inducing ground chuck foot-longs or spending a night on a remote island with Mel Gibson, Mean Betty suggests you start swallowing the beef immediately.
Mean Betty feels terrible for the people (see, Meanie has a heart… sometimes) on the set of his Jodie Foster-directed film The Beaver, which is still in post-production. Popeater reports the crazy, racist Mel was totally shocked after his rants were leaked but still showed up for work where “everyone was walking on eggshells around him. It was the weirdest set ever.” Mean Betty would have worn a HAZMAT suit to that set. One can never be too careful when it comes wild animals, non?
Is it just Mean Betty, or does Mel Gibson seem like the lovechild of John Edwards, Tiger Woods, Jesse James and Hitler?
And which would you rather meet over dinner? Mel or the footlong cheeseburger? Do tell!