Mean Betty on Bankrupt Toni Braxton
How does someone spend that much money?
Darlings, the Web is abuzz with the news that crooner Toni Braxton is filing for bankruptcy … again. To this, Mean Betty says (and pardon Mean Betty’s French in advance, kittens): ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?
The woman (who, by the way, already filed for bankruptcy back in 1998) has sold over 40 million albums in her career. What on earth has she been doing with all that money?! TMZ reports that in the bankruptcy documents she just filed in California, “the singer claims she’s only worth somewhere between $1 mil and $10 mil … but she could have up to $50 mil in debts.”
Just how does someone overspend by 40 – 49 million dollars?
A partial list of creditors Toni “thinks” she “may” owe money to:
— AT&T (Mean Betty’s iPhone bill is about $150 a month. So does Toni have, like, 10,000 iPhones? Or what?)
— The Four Seasons Hotels (Guess Toni never heard of Best Western.)
— DirecTV (Can’t miss our shows, now can we, Toni?!)
— Neiman Marcus (NO COMMENT)
— Tiffany & Co. (NO COMMENT because Mean Betty is starting to feel nauseated.)
— Orkin Pest Control (Even the rich get bedbugs?)
— The Internal Revenue Service (“Oopsie! You mean moi has to pay taxes, too?”)
— BMW Financial Services (Well honey we don’t expect you to drive a Honda!)
— American Express (The funny thing about credit cards … you have to pay the money back!)
— Flamingo Las Vegas (“Thanks for the memories! The check’s in the mail!”)
The list goes on (and on), but Mean Betty will spare you the details. If you’re anything like Mean Betty, the thought of all that spend-spend-spending makes you want to be scream-scream-screaming.
So what’s the lesson here, pets? Make a whole bunch of money, then spend fifty times that much, and then file for bankruptcy! Voila! It’s the Teresa Giudice school of financial management.
Poor, poor Toni Braxton. Don’t you just feel so bad for her?