Mean Betty on Bristol Palin’s Lame “Corrective Surgery” Excuse
Good one, Bristol. Too bad Mean Betty isn’t buying your BS today.
Believe it or not, kittens, Mean Betty happens to know a thing or two about jaw surgery (it’s a long, boring story poppets, that involves one too many martinis and a cat fight with an angry, scorned wife). That’s why Mean Betty is calling Bristol Palin’s GIANT bluff.
Mean Betty hates to break it to dear Bristol, but corrective jaw surgery doesn’t completely change the structure of your face. Guess little Palin took a page out of her mom Sarah’s book and didn’t do her homework!
Bristol claims her new face shape is “not plastic surgery,” but rather the results of a procedure that “was necessary for medical reasons…so my jaw and teeth could properly realign.”
Mean Betty thinks it’s funny how that necessary medical procedure also included changing her chin from looking like a butt to something that would turn Jay Leno on. Surely, the shape of her chin was severely affecting the alignment of her bite, right poppets?
True, she lost the baby pudge and double chin from the surgery, probably because she couldn’t eat solid food for a bit (Mean Betty absolutely loved being on that diet!), but that would’ve been the case no matter what kind of procedure she got — cosmetic or not.
Just face it, Bristol, you went under the knife to look better. You even gushed, “I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature, and don’t have as much of a chubby little baby face!”
Um, shouldn’t you be saying, “I am absolutely thrilled with the results. My jaw and teeth are now perfectly aligned and I no longer have pain when I chew, and the medical problem is solved.”
Mean Betty catches on quick, love, and she can smell a lie as fake as this one from a mile away. But, you’re certainly not helping yourself out when all you do is talk about how good it looks instead of how good it feels. Be a doll and just admit the truth.
Own it, my dear — it will make it so much easier for the next time when you want to get that nose fixed or a nip and tuck here and there. Trust Mean Betty, plastic surgery is an addiction. Once you start, it’s very hard to stop.