Mean Betty on Christina Aguilera's Break Up

The blame game is so fun - Jordan Bratman blames his divorce from Christina Aguilera on her pals Nicole Richie and Sam Ronson.

Mean Betty on Christina Aguilera’s Break Up

The blame game is so fun.

-Mean Betty

Christina Aguilera

Jordan Bratman is mighty pathetic, kittens. He’s blaming his imminent divorce from Christina Aguilera on poor dears Nicole Richie and Sam Ronson. Apparently, his life was tres magnifique with the beautiful and famous wife, the mansion, the cars, the bambino, the whole kit and caboodle, as they say. Then those homewreckers had to come in and start taking Christina out all the time where they convinced her to leave the hobbit-like Jordan.

“Christina’s been friends with Sam for a while, like they all went to Cabo in September with Nicole Richie, but they were hanging out a lot more in recent months, and they created a new posse of girls that Christina hung out with, so it started to be really frustrating for Jordan, that she had this relationship with these girls, but particularly this close one with Sam,” a source tells TooFab. “Jordan was feeling less than a man. It seemed like she was more interested in hanging out with Sam than him. This had been going on for several months.”

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Word on the celeb gossip block is Nicole, Sam and Xtina go on wild Cabo vacations where they verbally bash Jordan over margaritas for days. This is what led to their split, pets. Obviously it had nothing do with his mushy mushroom tip. Mean Betty knows nothing of what he’s packing in his trousers, but all one has to do is look at him to guesstimate.

Jordan Bratman and Christina Aguilera

Sam Ronson is the perfect person to take marital advice from, n’est pas? She hates penises (even acorn-like ones) and dated Lindsay Lohan. She’s one step away from being the next Dr. Drew. Whatever “advice” she’s given Christina over drunken long weekends was in no way a ploy to get Xtina’s clothes off, right pets? Mean Betty is sure Sam has no desire to fondle the glamazon at all.

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As for taking advice from your girlfriends, that’s just what women do. However, it is up to us whether we stick it out with our men or run for the Hollywood hills. No tabloid queens can make you do anything. So, Jordan, quit making excuses, cut your losses and move on. Perhaps find out if Ke$ha is single and looking for a new producer? Wink wink.

xo,

Mean Betty


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8 thoughts on “Mean Betty on Christina Aguilera's Break Up

  1. sugarpie says:

    Sam doesn’t necessarily hate penises – I just think they don’t do anything for her lol. Anyway, Xtina is bi. I’m convinced of it.

  2. girleegirl says:

    Sam and Xtina are so getting it on.

  3. mannequin says:

    If they asked MY opinion, which they should, Sam and Lindsay just go together.
    Christina looks much more high maintenance than Lilo. Besides, I think it was rude to do all this while Lindsay couldn’t get out. Girlfriends, Shmirlfriends.
    Oh and Jordan and Xtina? That was wrong from the beginning. If they had only asked…

  4. candygirl57 says:

    Actually Jordan and Christina both have mentioned that he is blessed with a big one.

  5. rosie728 says:

    How sad. Bratman seemed like a good guy. He is Jewish so I bet he has a big one. Sam Ronson is disgusting. I hope Xtina doesn’t fall for dating her. Ewww Ronson is so gross. What the hell is Xtina thinking?? Mean Betty is so mean for saying Jordan looks like a hobbit. He is really hot underneath that facial hair. Ronson should be ashamed for breaking them up.

  6. rosie728 says:

    How sad. Bratman seemed like a good guy. He is Jewish so I bet he has a big one. Sam Ronson is disgusting. I hope Xtina doesn’t fall for dating her. Ewww Ronson is so gross. What the hell is Xtina thinking?? Mean Betty is so mean for saying Jordan looks like a hobbit. He is really hot underneath that facial hair. Ronson should be ashamed for breaking them up.

  7. rosie728 says:

    How sad. Bratman seemed like a good guy. He is Jewish so I bet he has a big one. Sam Ronson is disgusting. I hope Xtina doesn’t fall for dating her. Ewww Ronson is so gross. What the hell is Xtina thinking?? Mean Betty is so mean for saying Jordan looks like a hobbit. He is really hot underneath that facial hair. Ronson should be ashamed for breaking them up.

  8. rosie728 says:

    How sad. Bratman seemed like a good guy. He is Jewish so I bet he has a big one. Sam Ronson is disgusting. I hope Xtina doesn't fall for dating her. Ewww Ronson is so gross. What the hell is Xtina thinking?? Mean Betty is so mean for saying Jordan looks like a hobbit. He is really hot underneath that facial hair. Ronson should be ashamed for breaking them up.

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