Mean Betty on Jesse James and Kat Von D’s Breakup
Yes, kittens! This is the best news Mean Betty has heard in a while!
Mean Betty would like to introduce you to one of her nearest and dearest friends. You’re probably already familiar with her because she’s a pretty big deal (hence, why she rolls with Meanie). Her name is Karma…
and she’s a BITCH.
Mean Betty knew it when Jesse James broke America’s Sweetheart’s heart, exposing himself as a lowlife, cheating-with-filth loser. He may have thought he got off scot-free, but Meanie knew her BFF Karma would be after him sooner or later, delivering her wrath as Meanie sat back and cackled till she couldn’t breathe.
That time has finally come, poppets.
He thought he found love. He thought he found someone who shared his passion for gaudy tattoos and oversharing on Twitter, and she happened to be “100 percent” better in bed than his lovely ex-wife, Sandra Bullock, or so he said. Kat Von D — the perfect complement to Jesse James’s sorry existence.
Yes, Kat Von D and Jesse have been mushing and gushing ever since they got together about how “perfect” they are for each other. They even got engaged in January and were planning, what Meanie can presume would be nothing less than an overly tacky goth wedding in the summer.
Enter Karma, on SANDRA BULLOCK’S BIRTHDAY no less (Happy Birthday Sandy!), to come in and do what she does best: sh*t on everything.
Yes, kittens, the terrible twosome has broken up. Does that sound like beautiful music only to Mean Betty’s ears?
But wait, this sounds even better:
“I’m so sad because I really love her,” James told People today. “The distance between us was just too much.”
“I am no longer w Jesse,” Kat tweeted, “and out of respect for him, his family and myself, thats all the info I’d like to share. Thanks for respecting that.”
Ahh… the sweet, sweet melody of revenge and getting exactly what your sorry ass deserves. BIG shout out to Mean Betty’s sister from another mother, Karma, for a job. well. done.