Mean Betty on Justin Bieber

He's writing his memoirs.
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Mean Betty on Justin Bieber’s Memoir

The YouTube sensation-turned-popstar, Justin Bieber, is penning a tome about his 16 long years on this planet.

-Mean Betty

Justin Bieber

When Mean Betty heard that Justin Bieber was going to sit down and pen his memoirs she almost spit her martini out all over the newspaper. However, one must never waste good vodka, kittens.

Yes, little lambs, Mean Betty is stunned to hear that the zygote known as Justin will be writing about his extensive experiences on the planet. The brunette-haired child, who always seems to look like he’s trapped in a wind tunnel will be temporarily stopping his worldwide dominion of screaming tweens (and their moms) to let the world know his innermost thoughts.

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Mean Betty is just a tad curious about this fabulous publishing opportunity for the golden throated singer. She wonders will there be a chapter entitled, “I Am the Smallest Person in the Recording Studio,” or “The Day I Wielded the Blow Dryer by Myself, I Knew I Was a Man?” We are so looking forward to his erudite pearls of wisdom, aren’t we kittens?

Harper Collins in their infinite wisdom and large and quite lovely dollar signs in their eyes, bent down on their knees and pleaded with the Canadian half-pint to let the world into his soul. We’re sure the mouth-choking advance had absolutely nothing whatsoever to sway this little moppet’s conscience. Oh and kittens, lest we forget one tiny but important detail… the memoir will be illustrated. Yes! For those suckers fans who cannot yet read the memoir will be chock-a-block with drawings!

Oooh, kittens, we can hardly wait to see petite babies and toddlers drooling and gnawing over the pages of this sage child’s words. It warms the cockles of Mean Betty’s heart.

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