Mean Betty on Madonna's New Boyfriend

Forget Jesus Luz: Madonna's latest squeeze is practically middle-aged!

Mean Betty on Madonna’s New Boyfriend

Madge’s latest squeeze is practically middle-aged!

-Mean Betty


Hello, poppets! Have you noticed how little we seem to be hearing about Madonna these days?

True, there was the cheesy low-priced clothing line that she and her daughter, Lourdes, thought up. But other than that, well, it’s been all Gaga (The meat dress! The hair dress!) and Katy Perry (Elmo! X-rated bachelorette parties!).

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Brahim Rachiki

Hmm…Whatever could Madonna do to get back on center stage? Why, find herself a new “boyfriend,” of course! (Didn’t you know that she’d broken up with Jesus Luz, pets?) The latest lucky man is Brahim Rachiki, Madge’s choreographer, and darlings, he is positively ancient (33!) compared with the 52-year-old dance queen’s usual early-20s boy toys. Like Luz, though Rachiki has an “exotic” appearance as well as a perpetually surly look. Artistes are such tortured, romantic beings, are they not?

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For the life of a pop choreographer is not an easy one, mes amis. First you must puff out your hair, then you must style your scarf, then you must throw a tantrum, and then you must make out with Madonna at an oh-so-hot Manhattan club in front of absolutely everyone, including tabloid “reporters.” Mean Betty is surprised that Mr. Rachiki had enough energy after that to crawl into bed by himself, let alone with Madonna.

Well, Mean Betty wishes Miss Ciccone and Mr. Rachiki only the very best. But since Madonna’s relationships seem to last about as long as Henry VIII’s wives, Mean Betty must caution Mr. Rachiki not to put all his eggs in one basket—and to make sure he keeps the performance rights to all his dance routines.

Isn’t true love wonderful, darlings?


Mean Betty

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