Mean Betty on Miley Cyrus
Little Miley was a big bully in school!
Hello, darlings! Just once Mean Betty would like to be wrong about our dear celebs. Alas, that is not the case. And from the first time Mean Betty saw little Miley Cyrus, Mean Betty knew that the pint-size “entertainer” was nothing but trouble. And as it turned out, how true, how true!
One can’t blame her entirely, poppets; after all, she is the daughter of sleazy country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, and that hardly sets a child on the path to either an Academy Award or to Harvard. But Mr. Cyrus should have at least taught his daughter some manners. For now we find out that middle-school Miley was…quite the little bully! Quelle news! Call CNN! One of the moppet’s former friends has said that Miley made fun of chubby girls in school and called one of her victims a “dyke.” Mean Betty really, really hopes that little Miley never heard that language at home and that the Cyruses spent their evenings around the dinner table discussing the economy and Jane Austen. Ah, well, there is always hope, is there not, kittens?
But that isn’t the only news, dear hearts! Oh, no! Someone videotaped the adventurous little teen smoking salvia, a legal hallucinogen, in a “bong”(Mean Betty is given to understand that this is a pipe of sorts.) Miley’s enablers protectors offered the fledgling video artist a bribe to keep the video off the Internet. So the anonymous little genius accepted a laptop in return for his laptop, which had the video. Except little Miley’s camp, apparently still communicating via Tarzan yells and smoke signals, apparently didn’t understand that even if the video was on the laptop they got, it could still have been sent elsewhere. And it was. Might Mean Betty suggest an introductory computer course at the local adult-education center?
And might Mean Betty also suggest some parenting classes for the Cyruses—even they are in the middle of a divorce? Who knows, darlings? They may be able to set their angel on the right path at last—or at least one that’s not totally self-destructive! And for the little sweetheart, how about a few months in a convent? What a thoughtful Christmas present!