Mean Betty on Rachel Uchitel

Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods mistress numero uno, is a quitter.
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Dr. Drew

Word on the gossip block is that Rachel couldn’t handle the pressure of discussing her addiction to alcohol and pills with Dr. Drew so she bolted and checked herself into a different kind of rehab—the swanky L’Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills. We’re sure she immediately gulped down two bottles of Prosecco at the hotel bar and proceeded to her suite where she called down to order the cream of some young guy from room service.

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Don’t fret, darling pets. Rachel has agreed to return to Celebrity Rehab—now that she’s had her fix. “Producers made her realize that if she continues to run away from her issues, she will never be able to live a healthy lifestyle,” the source said.

Producers are such geniuses these days. An entire show dedicated to helping C-listers beat their addictions? Mean Betty thinks the program is a combination of Christmas and Chinese water torture rolled into one—genius.

As for Ms. Husband Stealer, L’Ermitage Hotel better keep her room vacant, just in case.


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