Mean Betty on Silly Politicians

Why do they do so many dumb things?

Mean Betty on Silly Politicians

Why do they do so many dumb things?

-Mean Betty

Ben Quayle

Hello, kittens! You may not know this, but Mean Betty is a great fan of “politicians” as well as “celebrities.” They have so much in common: they’re usually good-looking (although Mean Betty must make an exception for Spencer Pratt), they’re always in the public spotlight, and they can pull some fabulously idiotic indiscreet stunts.

Mean Betty was especially intrigued by the antics of Ben Quayle, the son of former Vice President Dan Quayle. Little Ben is all grown up now and running for Congress in the great state of Arizona. Ben’s father once accused the TV character Murphy Brown of destroying the moral fiber of the U.S. because she was a single mother—and Ben is following in that Quayle tradition of strong “family values.”

Except, poppets, that little Ben used to post on a website called Dirty Scottsdale (Mean Betty is not making this up) under the name of a porn-star character, Brock Landers, in the movie Boogie Nights, which was of course about…the porn industry.

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In fact, Ben apparently loved the name so much that he used it a few years ago for his blog “Brock’s Chick”, in which he documented his very worthwhile effort, as a single guy, to find “the hottest chick in Scottsdale.” (If he is elected, Mean Betty only hopes he will bring that same work ethic to lesser issues like eliminating the Taliban in Afghanistan.)

But what is so much worse, kittens, is that little Ben lied about it, following in the proud footsteps of politicians like John Edwards, who somehow think that despite the media hounds on their trail, no one will ever find out their dirty little secrets. Bwahahaha! If they want to, the media will find out how many pairs of socks a politician owns, let alone that he has a pregnant mistress or has posted on a website now charmingly called The Dirty. Mean Betty can only conclude that these public servants are arrogant and clueless, but perhaps some wise men on Larry King Live will come up with a better explanation.

Mean Betty has a simple message for politicians: You will not get away with it, whatever “it” is. You will be found out. It’s so much more graceful to simply admit it and move on (though a pregnant mistress is, admittedly, quite a problem). Little Ben still has to learn this lesson. At first he told a reporter he was “not involved in the site.” But then he moved on to admitting that he “posted comments in an effort to drive some traffic.” What an altruistic fellow!

Darlings, one can only imagine the explanation he gave Mrs. Quayle. Let us hope it was a better one.

Xo,

Mean Betty

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