Mean Betty: Raise Your Hand If You're Surprised By The Cyrus Divorce

Billy Ray Cyrus will soon be two-steppin' out, no doubt.

Mean Betty: Raise Your Hand If You’re Surprised By The Cyrus Divorce

Billy Ray will soon be two-steppin’ out, no doubt.

-Mean Betty

Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus

Ah kittens – another day, another Hollywood divorce. This time it’s the Cyrus parents, those bastions of family values. So, Billy Ray’s on the market, hmmm? Mean Betty is waiting for news of the other woman in 3, 2, … any second now!

After all, in case you forgot how the Cyrus match was made in Heaven, allow Mean Betty to give you a little history lesson. Back, oh about 18 years ago, Billy Ray ditched his pregnant ex-girlfriend, Kristin Luckey, to take up with Tish, who was already pregnant with Miley.


Billy Ray filed the divorce papers in Tennessee yesterday, citing that old chestnut “irreconcilable differences.” Oh really? What have you two been fighting about, Billy Ray? Certainly not appropriate children’s clothing!

“As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family,” the couple said in a joint statement to People magazine.

“We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers.”

Apparently Billy Ray is seeking joint custody of the couple’s three minor children (yes – there’s a third! Did you know? A boy named Braison, who is generally ignored, as he can’t parade around on stage in hot pants) as well as an “equitable distribution of the marital estate.” From Mean Betty’s point of view, “joint custody” and “equitable distribution of the marital estate” are basically the same thing, non? Seeing as how their daughters are their little cash cows. Or course Miley’s almost 18 – good thing they already have Noah in her training bra!

Well one thing’s for sure – at least we don’t have to worry about Miley and Noah taking the news hard and turning into sexed-up, attention-seeking pop tartlets. Too late!


Mean Betty

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