Mean Betty: Ryan Reynolds Is Not Sexy!
What were they thinking when they named him sexiest man alive?
There’s only one way Mean Betty would ever sleep with People magazine’s choice for this year’s Sexiest Man Alive… if he wore a paper bag over his head. Mean would also have to consume at least three Cosmos first, kittens.
Out of all the man candy out there in Celebland they choose the freaky-faced Mr. Scarlett Johansson? He loses hottie points immediately just for being married to such a horrific actress, pets. Furthermore, he just ain’t that sexy. His big head makes Mean Betty’s eyes sore and is it just Mean, or does he always look like he’s always wearing chapstick?
Okay okay, so he did get all beefed up and muscled for his role in The Green Lantern. However, he even admitted himself, “My body naturally wants to look like Dick Van Dyke,” Reynolds said. “When I stop training, I turn into a skin-colored whisper.” A skin colored whisper, FYI, is not sexy, poppets. And Mean would take Dick Van Dyke over RyRy any day.
Ryan is without a doubt undeserving of the win. People magazine should revoke his title before Mean Betty heads over to their offices and starts shredding magazines and beating up staff writers.
Of course Mean would only do this in the classiest of manners, darlings—Manolos off before any groin kicking.