Mean Betty: Taylor Wants His Trailer
‘Twilight’s’ Wolf Boy Taylor Lautner Is Emotionally Distressed!
Darlings, Mean Betty has always loved Taylor Lautner. Of the Big Three Twilight stars, little Taylor has seemed the most “normal” (even if he does take his shirt off at strange times and have a rather pig-like nose). He does not pout like Kristen Stewart; unlike Robert Pattinson, he seems to wash his hair. But now, he appears to have been bitten by the poison bug of Celebrity Insanity!
Our teenage superstar is suing because his very own, specially designed, $300,000 “personal trailer” wasn’t delivered on time. Call out the gendarmerie and have them arrest the guilty swine! How dare they make our little Wolf Boy feel bad? You see, darlings, Taylor isn’t suing just for something sensible like breach of contract. Oh, no, he is also suing because he suffered “displeasure, annoyance and emotional distress!”
Is this boy not supposed to be macho? Exactly how big a leap did he have to make to play the wild-spirited Jacob? Does he feel the lack of a trailer will spoil his artistic focus as he works on his next movie, Abduction? Will his costars, Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver, who have actually acted for a living, think worse of him? Serious questions, my darlings.