Men Decoded: What They Say vs. What They Really Mean

Your Gay Best Friend cuts through the male BS to give it to you straight and simple.
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Men Decoded: What They Say vs. What They Really Mean

Your Gay Best Friend cuts through the male BS to give it to you straight and simple.

-Brian Clark

What Men Say vs. What They Really Mean

Ever feel like your relationship has a plot line similar to the James Bond movies? I do. Guys can be as difficult to communicate with as spies and just as sleuth. After all, both guys and spies don’t always say what they mean, can have ulterior motives, and have a lot of gadgets.

To help you figure out what your international man of mystery really means, here’s some common guy lines, decoded by your Gay Best Friend…

Read Surviving Monogamy: Tips From Your
Gay Best Friend

I’m not looking to be in a relationship right now.

A guy will say this to a girl when he isn’t interested in her, so he can have guilt-free sex for a while before dumping her. It’s the “I told you so” of dating. The smart, jerkier, pretty boys (they’re usually a VP in marketing, FYI), use this line to pretend to be upfront and open. Then, the moment a girl gets attached, Mr. Junior VP pulls a hidden break-up lever in his nightstand, sending you (and your heart) sliding through a trap door in his bedroom floor. And boom! He’s on to his next victim without any guilt, because six weeks before, he had laid out some lame catchall disclaimer.

Don’t fall for it.


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19 thoughts on “Men Decoded: What They Say vs. What They Really Mean

  1. girleegirl says:

    Everyone knows saying, “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” means he or she is not looking for a relationship with YOU. Cut your losses and move on.

  2. booksorclothes says:

    This is good to know- I’ve always thought that “I don’t want a relationship with you,” meant I don’t want one with you.

  3. Yay heels says:

    Looks like I need a Guy/English English/Guy dictionary!

  4. FBNYC says:

    “Relationships are like rubber bands…” I love that!

  5. CityLady212 says:

    What id your naked and he says, “Is that what your wearing?” is that bad?

  6. uptowngirl says:

    I wish I always had a translator like this!

  7. lemoned says:

    I think guys usually say exactly what they mean…if they don’t want a relationship, don’t bother – they won’t change.

  8. LolliLew says:

    lemoned – I have to disagree with you (slightly). People CAN change, and they DO – but only when THEY want to. I used to be a self-involved, super-jealous girlfriend-type, but after dating someone who was the male equivalent of my former self, I realized how horrible that type of behavior was, and I grew up. And life’s been pretty great since then!

  9. Fashionista says:

    That’s the worst thing ever to hear “You’re smothering me.” I don’t know what I would do if someone said that to me.

  10. mothermeryl says:

    We should worry less about what guys mean and more about how well WE communicate to them about what WE need.

  11. lawra says:

    I was once told I was smothering. I gave the guy so much space he turned around and married me!

  12. Fern says:

    funny and great, as always!

  13. Fashionista says:

    Haha @lawra… funny how that worked out!

  14. jessica03 says:

    guys are usually upfront. if they dont wanna be with you, they’ll sure show it.

  15. bcclong says:

    Amen mothermeryl!

  16. WikkidLilGrrrl says:

    I broke it off with my man awhile ago and then we got back together (which is the one and only time I’ve taken a guy back)..he seemed so desperate ..(which he is) and kept telling me how much he loves me and how NO guy will ever treat me as good as he does…he talked about moving in together that night we got back together and how he would treat me like a princess, but my womanly instincts told me he was feeding me a bunch of lines and I needed to drop him fast…so pretty much ANYTHING he said to me was interpreted by yours truly as “im desperate right now and may treat you nice for awhile until I realize that you’re really not as special as I made you out to be when you first took me back, so I’m gonna go back to treating you like a slave and being a total d-bag” Seriously that’s exactly how I intrepreted it all.

  17. genxeratl says:

    Doesn’t everyone know what these lines mean? Or is it just us gay bff’s who have to act as translators? Or is it really just those of us who have been around the block more than a set of Goodyear’s? Things that make you go hmmmm.

  18. sidneyanne says:

    I had a fairly recently divorced man over to dinner a week ago. Someone I’ve liked for two years. (Met after the divorce began) The meal was great. The whole evening was perfect. When he left, he basically said, “I not ready to be real serious yet. I still have some feelings to resolve, but I want to take you out, have you over and see what happens. This time, I’m going to let God choose, because I don’t do it well.” I see him as an honest person and he was talking from his heart. But he hasn’t talked to me at all since then.

  19. Christine says:

    What does it mean when a guy says I miss you hope you know that

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