New Moms' Mishaps

I can't believe I did that to my newborn!

Mom Matters

New Moms’ Mishaps

I can’t believe I did that to my newborn!

-Stephanie Elliot

Mom with BabyEvery parent has a new parenting story to share – you know the one where you thought the white stuff on your baby’s tongue was just leftover formula so you tried for weeks to wipe it off with a cloth, only to discover a month later that there’s this thing called Thrush, and that babies can get it. Of course, that didn’t happen to ME as a brand-new mother. Nor did I even ever consider that I could own more than one pacifier and that the one pacifier we did own was never disinfected via the dishwasher. Because, with sleep deprivation, surging hormones and all the joys that go into new parenting, who would think to clean a pacifier or check their kid for a disease in his mouth!?

From diaper-rash oopsies to feeding mistakes, caring for a newborn is a learned art. Why do you think there are so many books out there telling us how to do everything? Here, moms share the little mishaps that, while we cringed at the moment of impact, we can finally laugh about now:

When Kelsie was an infant, one day I noticed tiny clear gel-type balls in her diaper. I just about freaked – OK, I did freak. I got her an appointment at the doctors and brought her in. Guess what it was? The newfangled diapers have gel in them and if they get really wet, some of the gel forms into balls. I am sure that page is still in her records at the doctor’s office and I would really like to steal it out of there because I am sure it has “psycho new mom” written right next to my name!
-Sue Linnell

I was a 21-year-old single mom and had no idea how to raise a baby. But I wanted to be a good nursing mom and knew that I should be eating and drinking well for my son’s optimum nutrition. So, I decided to make sure he was getting enough Vitamin C from my breast milk. I began drinking eight glasses of orange juice a day, but didn’t make the connection when he began having the worst diaper rash – with big, puffy blisters – until his pediatrician made me recite a list of my daily intake. That’s when the doc pointed out my folly. Oops. I wanted to make sure my son was getting enough Vitamin C, but my breast milk ended up acid-washing his little tush and nuts instead! -Annette Fix

There was that time I locked Isabella in the car right outside her pediatrician’s office! And practically tore the cell phone out of another mom’s hand to call 911. I totally panicked and she was fine … fast asleep the whole time. But I felt like the world’s worst mom. -April Daniels Hussar

You know how you always warm up a baby’s formula? Well, I stupidly, foolishly, regretfully kept doing this when my daughter graduated to real milk after her first birthday. She is now almost 5 years old and will only drink warm milk. This is not very convenient when you are, say, in a restaurant or experiencing a power outage. -Jenna McCarthy

Our firstborn had a really bad case of diaper rash, where his skin would crack and bleed; we had tried everything for this hideous diaper rash. Every cream known to mankind was auditioned; no luck. He also had a couple of really bad chest infections and croup so we had an arsenal of creams at our disposal upstairs.

One night, after date night, our baby awoke with a nasty poopy diaper. It could take two of us at that point to change him. His little bottom hurt so bad, it was tough to get a good clean up in while trying to keep him from wiggling out of our grasp. So we went upstairs to do our job. I held his legs and spoke quietly to him while Hubby did the dirty work and then put the soothing cream on his little tushie.

You can imagine the shock on our faces when our little 6-month-old angel turned beet red and started doing the “I’m in so much pain I’m screaming but no sound is coming out” move. But then the sound came, and it was LOUD. His eyes were literally bugging out of his head. I was all, “WTF???” and my husband scrambled to find out what on earth could be the issue. Then I saw it – the cream he had used was the menthol cream for his chest infection and croup. OMG! An hour, endless tears, and a bath later, our baby was in bed with us. One our first big date nights since his arrival, and we had our little boy with a burning butt safely tucked between us. -Mary Anne

OK moms, you’ve heard your share of confessions here. And fortunately, all of these children have survived these mishaps, and none of them will ever remember what happened to them. What have you done to your newborn that you can finally laugh about now?


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0 thoughts on “New Moms' Mishaps

  1. Fern says:

    I feel so bad for the diaper rash mom — poor thing!

  2. littlelady says:

    Oh my gosh I’ve seen babies do that silent scream when they’re in a lot of pain/ really upset and it IS scary! You’re just like Holy Shit!

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