Online Dating Newbie: Step Away From the Electronics, Fellas
One Betty bridges the gap from online messaging to real world dating, but her matches can’t seem to leave technology out of the picture.
Betty’s own assistant editor made the brave decision to lose her online dating virginity and embark on an experiment looking for love (or just a fling) on the Internet. Here, she chronicles the frustrations, surprises, and excitement of shopping for a beau online. (The online dating veteran’s experiences can be found here.)
In my last update, I filled you in on all the real, live first dates I’ve been going on lately with guys I’ve met online. Some didn’t work out, while others did (and very nicely, I might add), which convinced me that online dating, if you’re patient, is really a great way to meet new people.
I thought that since I bridged the gap from online messaging with potential matches to actual in-person dates, technology would just play a small role in my romantic life from here on out.
But, of course, it hasn’t. I should’ve known: first comes the online messaging, then comes the actual first date, and then comes the texting!
Don’t get me wrong, I like to text, and most of the time, it’s much easier than picking up the phone and calling. But, too much texting can start to get annoying (and, I have an iPhone, which is probably the worst phone to text on. Whenever I write, “Ooh,” it loves to replace it with “Pooh.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent the apologetic, “OMG, I’m so sorry, that’s not supposed to say that!”).
Here are my texting guidelines when it comes to dating. Texing = good, when:
- it’s to arrange a date
- it’s a brief check-in, like “Hey, how’s your day been?”
- it’s an unexpected sweet sentiment or sexy turn-on in the middle of the day (those are my favorite)
Texting = bad, when:
- it becomes a long, back and forth conversation
- it’s serious and meaningful, like “I really like you” or, “That really pissed me off”
- it’s keeping me from getting my beauty sleep (I’ve noticed guys seem to get very text-happy late at night)
I like texting when it’s a means to an end, kind of like how online dating sites are. It’s a great tool to use when starting a connection, but it shouldn’t become an integral part of the relationship. Yet, I find that most of the communication I’ve been having with my dates has been through SMS.