And so begins one of the longest, most awkward 30 minutes of my life. To make matters worse, TFA kept trying to hold my hand. Really? I skated for 8 years. Thanks but I’M FINE. After uncomfortably skating around in circles for half an hour, all the while deflecting TFA’s advances, I was overjoyed when he finally told me the one thing I had wanted him to tell me all night – It’s 8:30.
My response: Oh, already? Translation: THANK YOU LORD.
I have never torn my skates faster off my feet. After politely declining his offer to drive me to “dinner” as we exited the Park, I thanked him for the date and had never been happier to see an empty cab. I flagged down the nearest one and dove in faster than a fugitive on the run.
Completely mortified from my horrific date, I naturally met up with friends for a drink (or five) to wash away the utter grossness of my evening. Literally – I’m sure the cheap cologne smell had seeped into my hair by now.
Upon reflection, I of course realized everything I did wrong. Not finding out first where the guy lives (if I had known he lived in the Bronx beforehand he would have gotten the axe before a date was even requested. Yes, I am a location snob. Sue me). Agreeing to an “activity” date. Agreeing to let him pick me up to go to “activity” date. Not fleeing the scene once I saw his beer gut roll out of the clown car. Being too nice to not flee the scene at any other point during the night. Upon even further reflection, I realize I would have actually been doing the troll a favor by just telling him from the get-go I wasn’t interested. Even though I thought I was being “nice” by going through with the date, it certainly doesn’t do either party any good when I knew full well I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Not that I feel bad given he was the one who blatantly lied, but by telling him truthfully that he did, in fact, false advertise, prob could have saved him a completely wasted evening and perhaps jolted him to reality.
Or maybe he would have just gotten mad and called me a conceited b*#ch.
Which I am. Well, not really. Ok sometimes.
I do love a good however!
A few months later my good friend K was telling me about a cute guy that had messaged her online (I think still POF), who had asked her out on a date. In telling me more info, things started to add up. And when I asked his profile name, bingo.
TFA strikes again! Needless to say I warned her before she suffered the same horrific experience I did. Oh and there’s more. I signed up on MeetingMillionaries.com a few months ago (for research, duh), which apparently is supposed to only accept men who are – in case you couldn’t tell from the name – well off. And guess who is on there claiming to be a doctor? Uh-huh. THE FALSE ADVERTISER. What a total douche. I mean I just don’t get it. Doesn’t he get by now that every girl he meets is going to think the same thing? Or does he get off on tricking girls by luring them in with his faux good looks and charm, only to see their mortified faces when they meet him in person? Whatever the case, this guy is a tool and deserves whatever dating misfortune comes his way.
So gents (and ladies – this goes for you too), be truthful in your online dating profiles. Because NO one likes a False Advertiser!
Tell us: Have you ever been duped by a False Advertiser?