Put Sexy Time and Romance Back In Your Relationship
If sex and romance have gone out the window in your relationship, follow these five tips to get them back.
Women are very good at coming up with excuses for why we don’t want to “do the deed” tonight. It’s no longer about just having “a headache” — we avoid sexy time because we feel bloated, too tired, angry, lazy, self-conscious… and the excuses go on and on.
But, making time for intimacy–and fully enjoying it–is a key component to any healthy, happy relationship. More often than not, the couples who complain about a lack of romance are also the ones who are logging the least amount of time in the bedroom.
To get both back in to your relationship, we turned to certified sexologist Nikki Morgan for her expert tips and advice. Here’s what she suggests you start doing now:
1. Surpass tiredness by making sex a goal.
After a long, stressful day at work, taking care of the kids, and getting everything else done on your “To-Do” list, sex is something you might want to happily not do. But instead of giving up on the prospect out of tiredness, make an effort to get psyched for it early on in the day. “Sending your partner a few flirtatious text messages throughout the day will help sustain–and build!–that energy until bedtime,” says Morgan. “At the end of the day, slip into something that makes you feel sexy, let go of any expectations, and enjoy time with your partner exchanging caresses and kisses in sensitive areas. Enjoy the build-up of your sexual energies lying next to each other, and you’ll soon begin to feel your back-up energy reserve kick into high gear.”
2. Let go of your anger and hug it out.
Fights are inevitable in any relationship, but how you deal with them is completely up to you. Holding on to grudges and anger towards your partner will just make it harder and harder for you to be open to romance. “If you’re addressing a small annoyance like toothpaste tops being left off (again!) or toilet seats not being closed (again!), agree to call a truce and uphold romantic plans you may have for the evening,” suggests Morgan. “Also, as corny as it sounds, hug it out! Real, meaningful hugs last a minimum of 30 seconds, and provide a level of comfort and contact that can relax and reconnect you and your partner.”