Sex Toys for Tweens
Would you (or should you?) buy your daughter a vibrator?
Recent studies have revealed that women who use vibrators are healthier – and sexually happier – than women who don’t. Finally, the stigma of the sinful sex toy is fading, and women can hold their Rabbits and Pocket Rockets proud. So if good vibrations are good and good for us sexually evolved women, are they good for our daughters too?
This question came up recently on my Web site, truuconfessions – when a mom shared the following:
My tween daughter and I got into one of our sex/sexuality discussions today and she brought up that a friend’s mother had gotten the friend her first vibrator. DD (dear daughter) says “isn’t masturbating safer then having sex?”
Don’t know how to handle this one ladies!!!! While I have no problems with masturbation ( go for it!) I think 12 is a little young to buy them vibrators. Input please!!!
Like this mom, I’ve had a pretty open and ongoing dialogue with my two girls about sex. We’ve covered the nuts-and-bolts basics, and just last week I blushed my way through masturbation (clean hands, privacy is good), oral sex (this is not casual!) and the mechanics of bi-sexuality and two men “hooking up.” (Thankfully my daughter got it before I had to explain).
But sex toys? This was a new one for me so, I asked our online community to chime in along with sexperts, experts and friends.
Needless to say, the topic struck a nerve and provoked a lively and at a times contentious debate. Many moms were as stumped as the confessor, fessing up to having NO idea what to do in this situation. But the majority of moms came out swinging on both sides. Some were encouraging but cautious:
“It’s great she’s exploring her sexuality, but maybe she should start with her hands first”
Some believed this was clearly a sign of an over-involved, indulgent parenting style:
“Do we have to do everything for our kids? Get out of the helicopter and let your daughter explore her sexuality on her own!”
And some were clearly in the abstinence-only camp:
“That’s sick to me. I think it’ (buying a vibrator) s more encouraging her daughter to have sex than anything else. I mean, how many people who experiment with sex toys are virgins? It won’t be long now for that 12 year old…”