ASK REAL GUYS
Should I Give Him a Second Chance?
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: OK to start off, my ex and I had been going together for 11 months, and in May he broke up with me. He said that I was his main chick and that he was sorry, but he made a big mistake and the reason he was breaking up with me was because he cheated and he got a girl pregnant. He was staying with her to raise a family for his child. It hurt me at the time as I wanted him to be with me and only me. But I couldn’t be selfish if he wanted to be a man and raise his child. We decided to be friends, and I thought I would never talk to him again.
We didn’t talk for about a month, but then in July he told me that he wanted me to come see him. He told me that the girl he thought he had gotten pregnant wasn’t pregnant. I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t want to get all into his business. Then last weekend I got up the nerve to tell him how I feel and sent him a message saying that I love him and I always will no matter what, and I told him to let me know if he got the message. He called me and we started talking and laughing like old times, and he didn’t want to get off the phone with me. He told me that he still loves me. Next thing I know he starts sending me texts and stuff everyday. He is always texting me wanting me to come see him. He even offered to pick me up. I really love him and 11 months is a long time to just throw what we had away, and I know he still loves me, so what should I do? Just move on and be friends with him? Wait for him to ask me back out? Or give him a second chance and ask him back out? And if I ask him back out how should I say it? By the way I am 16 years old, and I am a female.
Steven: People make mistakes, the question is: is this a pattern or a one-time behavioral mistake? I think the most important thing is to have an open conversation and to discuss all of this. Find out how he feels. In relationships, trust can be repaired, but one of the key questions to ask is what is going to be different next time? One thing that concerns me is that you are not saying that he is coming to you to apologize for what has happened. Ultimately in life you have to make the call, just make sure you are not holding on to something of which it’s time to let go. Having said that, in life people often can be given a second change; the key is whether they deserve it.