Surviving Monogamy: Tips From Your Gay Best Friend

Here's some sound advice from our Gay BFF on how to keep things super spicy in your relationship - even if you've been together for a long time.
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Be all that you can or want him to be

Be All That You Can (Or Want Him To) Be
This is one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned in life: if you want something new in a relationship, embody it yourself and it will come back to you. This works especially well when it comes to sex, since sex is one of the first aspects of a monogamous relationship that can become boring. It’s also the area we’re least likely to admit we’re no longer thrilled with. But, it happens. Part of the draw of sex is intrigue and danger, and that’s just not going to be there once you’ve done it every Tuesday and Saturday for a year, even if you own a French maid’s costume (if you don’t, you can borrow mine).

Read 5 First-Time Sex Tips From Your Gay Best Friend

So, think about what you want in sex to liven it up, and instead of asking for it outright (which can feel awkward and make your partner feel inadequate), just do it yourself. If you want dirty talk, talk dirty. If you’re into a stronger touch, grab him. Whatever you want, do it to him in a bold and clear way.

Believe me, it’s hard not to respond to dirty talk when someone is saying really racy things in your ear. Your boldness will spark his response and turn him the *&$^$ on!

Then, if your guy still doesn’t seem to catch on after you’ve made a few clear attempts, it may be time to talk about things in an upfront and playful way. But, why not try it the fun way first!


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14 thoughts on “Surviving Monogamy: Tips From Your Gay Best Friend

  1. FBNYC says:

    These are some fabulous tips! I especially love the idea of keeping the flirting up throughout the whole relationship!

  2. uptowngirl says:

    Great advice! I think flirting is really important.

  3. lemoned says:

    I think it’s good to flirt with other people while you’re in a relationship. You get the excitement of meeting someone new, which can be a confidence-booster. Then you can take that extra-inflated ego home to your guy, no harm done!

  4. shopaholic says:

    Flirting is fun and harmless!

  5. lovesbetty says:

    I know how to flirt like a pro ;)

  6. Fern says:

    So true that you should take the initiative when you think something’s missing in the relationship. Or the bedroom!

  7. Fashionista says:

    I think the idea of not sharing absolutely everything together is really important, too. If you’re guy doesn’t like to shop, don’t drag him to the mall with you — he will resent you. Bring your gf instead. It’s a good way to keep some mystery in the relationship. When you’re off doing other things with other people, he’ll be wondering what you’re doing.

  8. jessica03 says:

    i agree with Fashionista. and oh yes, flirting is fun fun fun!

  9. CityLady212 says:

    Monogamy = boring eventually

  10. vdub4 says:

    LMAO at the more realistic “Jerry Maguire” line… Great tips Gay BFF… Fantasy is always so much fun to mix things up… I LOVE a little role playing with costumes… :) xo

  11. saxmantf says:

    After 20 years these tips are even more important. We like doing the in-town vacation to get away from the kids.

  12. Flirting is so much fun, gives you this huge adrenaline

  13. Thank you for your article.Your tips is very nice.

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