Surviving Monogamy: Tips From Your Gay Best Friend

Here's some sound advice from our Gay BFF on how to keep things super spicy in your relationship - even if you've been together for a long time.
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friends don't let friends love alone

Friends Don’t Let Friends Fall In Love Alone
In the movies, two very famous leads fall madly in love and satisfy each other’s needs utterly and totally forever and ever in that “you complete me” way. Unfortunately, real-life love lasts longer than a line of movie credits, and if we’re not careful, we can risk getting bored with even our most well-fitted lover.

Don’t fret about this. It happens to every real-life couple, probably even to Nora Ephron and her husband (and let’s face it, that woman can churn out some snappy dialog).

Read Are You Too Needy? A Quiz From Your Gay Best Friend

To avoid getting bored, diversify. When we couple up, we tend to forget about our friends and focus solely on our soul mate, but don’t let this happen. It’s not important that your partner doesn’t share your love of astronomy, that’s what your geeky scientist friend is for. And if your guy loves baseball and you don’t, let him trot off to the game with his buds while you give tours of the planetarium. Having some interests apart will keep you both unique and interesting to each other. Relying solely on one another for every aspect of your life is a recipe for staleness and even resentment.

Instead of saying “you complete me,” be more realistic and say, “you complete me in a lot of ways, but I am still an individual and I have interests that you don’t share, and that’s OK because it will make me more interesting come dinner time.” Not sure that line would have worked as well for Renee Zellweger, but it will for you.


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14 thoughts on “Surviving Monogamy: Tips From Your Gay Best Friend

  1. FBNYC says:

    These are some fabulous tips! I especially love the idea of keeping the flirting up throughout the whole relationship!

  2. uptowngirl says:

    Great advice! I think flirting is really important.

  3. lemoned says:

    I think it’s good to flirt with other people while you’re in a relationship. You get the excitement of meeting someone new, which can be a confidence-booster. Then you can take that extra-inflated ego home to your guy, no harm done!

  4. shopaholic says:

    Flirting is fun and harmless!

  5. lovesbetty says:

    I know how to flirt like a pro ;)

  6. Fern says:

    So true that you should take the initiative when you think something’s missing in the relationship. Or the bedroom!

  7. Fashionista says:

    I think the idea of not sharing absolutely everything together is really important, too. If you’re guy doesn’t like to shop, don’t drag him to the mall with you — he will resent you. Bring your gf instead. It’s a good way to keep some mystery in the relationship. When you’re off doing other things with other people, he’ll be wondering what you’re doing.

  8. jessica03 says:

    i agree with Fashionista. and oh yes, flirting is fun fun fun!

  9. CityLady212 says:

    Monogamy = boring eventually

  10. vdub4 says:

    LMAO at the more realistic “Jerry Maguire” line… Great tips Gay BFF… Fantasy is always so much fun to mix things up… I LOVE a little role playing with costumes… :) xo

  11. saxmantf says:

    After 20 years these tips are even more important. We like doing the in-town vacation to get away from the kids.

  12. Flirting is so much fun, gives you this huge adrenaline

  13. Thank you for your article.Your tips is very nice.

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