Talk Dirty, Baby
Dear Amber: The sex with my long-term boyfriend is excellent, but I love dirty talk. He seems to be turned on by it but has a hard time saying anything back unless I ask him to in the heat of the moment, which is usually less exciting. How do I tell him that I want more?
Amber: If you want more dirty talk and you dont want to have to request it in the middle of sex, you’re going to have to initiate a conversation about your sex life. And yes, it will likely feel awkward, and that’s okay. Too often people refuse to talk about thier sex life becuase they’re embarassed, but the key to a good sex life really is communication. Trading an uncomfortable 5 minute chat for better sex is probably a swap worth making.
So how do you tell your boyfriend you want more dirty talk? Simply say, “Honey, I get really turned on when you talk dirty to me when we’re having sex, and I’d love it if you’d do it more often.” Then, bookend that with an “I love having sex with you” at the beginning, and an “Is there anything you want me to do” at the end, and whala.
You’ve stroked his ego, given your request, and given him a chance to express his desires. Score three for the home team.