The most important thing to remember is that relationships take work, so you should be certain that you want to end the relationship and that there’s no way to fix whatever issues are going on. There’s nothing worse than ending a relationship, realizing you made a huge mistake and then begging him/her to get back together with you. If you end up doing that, you run the risk of him/her realizing during the break that ultimately you weren’t really the right one for him/her anyway.
When ending a relationship, be mindful of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Gently but firmly state your intention to end things. Be direct, be brief, and remain calm. Don’t assign blame to yourself (“It’s not you, it’s me”) or to the other party (“this is all your fault”). Instead, state your disappointment that things didn’t work out, sincerely wish the other person well, and then leave. A clean break is the most humane way to put a dead relationship out of its misery.
-David M. Matthews is a relationship coach, advice columnist, and author of Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think.
Ending a relationship is never easy, whether it’s after three months or three years. Make sure you’ve come to this decision after careful thought and not just a heated fight. Decisions made in the heat of rage are often ones we regret. From here, the question arises of how to break up with someone tactfully and gracefully. My advice is to break up with someone in person (no calls, texts, or IMs) and to be honest. No one can fault you for sharing your feelings in an honest and productive way.
-Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge.
Should you use Facebook? Should you be blunt? Answers up next