The Loose Cannon: Tracy Jordan vs. Dwight Schrute
In a competition for all-around weirdness, they’d both be Jedi masters. Tracy has walked around naked in LaGuardia Airport, fallen asleep on Ted Danson’s roof and tried to stab Conan O’Brien (even in a fictitious television shows, dude can’t get a break at NBC!). Dwight might lack social skills, common sense and the ability to fend off Jim’s pranks, but the part-time beet farmer constantly pulls in top numbers and has even been ranked Salesman of the Year.
WINNER: Truly a hard call, but since Tracy’s antics would never fly outside of NBC’s hallowed halls. Dwight takes the prize.
The Closed Book: Stanley Hudson vs. Grizz
Stoic and not much for words, these two generate laughs whenever they do have something to say. But Stanley manages to skewer Michael without attracting any ire. On the contrary, Michael even seems to appreciate it – a mark of true comedic talent.
WINNER: Stanley’s acerbic wit, though Grizz’s pithy remarks rank a close second.
The Pearl of Wisdom: Dot Com vs. Phyllis Lapin-Vance
More than once, the very likeable Dot Com has uttered a barrage of SAT words when he’s not busy with Tracy’s shenanigans. More than once, Phyllis has outsmarted Michael Scott, earning her way onto the basketball team and into Santa Claus’s pants. (Not in that way! She wore the costume at the holiday party). So, while Dot Com is an integral part of the entourage, Phyllis runs the show from behind the scenes, deftly maneuvering through a sea of office politics while her coworkers remain none the wiser.
WINNER: Dot Com would win a popularity contest, but Phyllis takes the (office party) cake.