'The Dark Knight Rises' Shootings: How to Talk to Kids About It

How do you talk to kids about a tragedy? In the wake of the Aurora shootings, experts weigh in.
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For young very kids, particularly fans of the comic book hero, Dr. Shapiro advises putting the very real incident in the context of the comic book. “If they know about Batman they know there are bad men in the world and that good is ultimately going to win out,” she says. “So put it in the frame work of ‘this was bad man that did a bad thing but he’s been caught and is being punished and won’t ever do this again,’” she says. “You need to complete the story for them.”

But for some children, the line between fantasy and reality is what’s most confusing.

“Kids are both egocentric and fantasy prone,” Lee Shapiro, a New York based psychologist, tells Shine. “It’s possible that they would imagine what happened was connected to the content of the movie, and connect the ‘dark’ aspects of this fantasy film with the bad things that happened at the theater.”

In this case, clarity is key. “You want to make the distinction very clear, that movies are not real,” Lee explains. “What happened in the theater was the consequence of one person deciding to do a terrible thing, not because people went to see this movie.”

Read Should This Little Girl’s Big Bow Be Banned?

But what if a child hasn’t asked about the incident? Is it safe to assume their teachers or classmates will be talking about it today and should a parent even bring it up?

“Parents should certainly to be attuned to the possibility that their kids have talked about it and notice any changes in behavior, even in posture,” advises Francine. “When a child comes home from school parents can ask, ‘did anything important happen today?’ If a child does want to talk about the incident, they should ask what kinds of feelings the story brings up for them.”

At the same time, parents need to be cautious about letting their own fears trickle down onto their kids. “Kids of all ages are emotional sponges that sense and react to their parents’ own anxieties,” says Turgeon. “It’s important not to assume you know what your child is feeling and instead follow their lead. You may be more troubled by the news than they are, in which case you need to talk to your friends about it outside of their earshot, so they don’t take on what your feeling.

As for the kids who witnessed the horrific event, their recovery will require more than just a parent’s reassurance. “It’s important those kids have the opportunity for therapy, particularly therapy supported by trauma research,” says Francine, who recently authored a book on PTSD called Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy. “But with the right treatment kids can recover and in many cases, faster than adults.

More from Yahoo! Shine:

Conquering your kid’s fear of doctors

Talking to your kid about end of the world rumors

The three biggest fears about raising teen boys


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