Silence is what she heard for the next three days. No texts, no phone calls, nothing. This guy had actually done the classic “hit it and quit it,” but in the most sleazy, evil and conniving way.
Here’s why this makes me so upset to the point that I am abusing my keyboard right now (and it didn’t even happen to me). It boggles my mind that a grown man living in New York still feels the need to play the game this way. If sex was his one and only goal, he could’ve made that clear the moment he met my friend (trust us guys, women can handle that now – in fact, we’ve come to expect it nine times out of ten). If my friend wasn’t looking for that type of hookup (which she wasn’t), she would’ve had the opportunity to walk away and he could’ve found someone else who was down for a no-strings night of mediocre humping.
But, he didn’t. Instead, he devoted hours of his time to butter my friend up to the point where she couldn’t stop thinking about him. After all, he was doing everything “right,” and all signs pointed to the idea that he was pursuing her for serious, long-term reasons. Yet really, all of that time, effort, talk and money was for one night of sex? What an idiot.
The only possible explanation I have for why the most pathetic type of man still exists is that he finds some twisted joy in the challenge of bedding a girl who isn’t down for a one-night stand. “How many dates do I have to take her on to get her to do this?” he probably thinks. And in the time it would take him to sleep with four different girls who were just looking for a good time, he focuses all of his efforts on taking down one.
I know this isn’t a groundbreaking concept – you’ve heard it and seen it and read it all before (thanks Tucker Max, author of the seminal tome I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, for your great contributions to society). And, I want to make it clear that I know not every guy does this. It just blows my mind that there are still some out there who do—who consider screwing a sport and hard-to-get women the prize—even though there’s more evidence now than ever before that there’s no point.
For instance (forgive me, all the non-Jersey Shore viewers, but this is all I can think of at the moment), Snooki can be the poster child for this – there are plenty of girls out there just like her who have no problem admitting they’re “Down to F*&k.” They may not be announcing it on national television, but they’re making it clear when they meet a guy at the bar. And it’s very easy, as the Jersey Shore boys demonstrate, to tell the difference between the ones who are “DTF,” and the ones who aren’t. Samantha Jones, although a fictional character on Sex and the City, is another example.
My point is this: American women have evolved. We live in a society that has (for the most part) accepted the fact that we are just as sexual as men. I’m not saying we’ve all turned into Snooki or Samantha Jones, but we have learned to embrace this side of ourselves and be more open and honest about sex, when we want it and with whom.
So, there is no need for a guy to trick a woman into sleeping with him by pretending he wants something he really doesn’t… like a relationship. Not only is it a waste of his and her time, but it’s probably the most pathetic thing someone can do.
Faye Brennan is assistant editor at BettyConfidential.