The Number Game
Dear Amber: I have been sexually active for 12 years. What is the average number of people that men and women have slept with in this amount of time? How many partners is considered promiscuous? A lot of people younger than me did not have sex in high school, but that was normal for people in high school 10 years ago.
Amber: There really is no “normal” when it comes to the number of sex partners a person should have in a certain amount of time. Some people will have none, others will have one and others will have many more. The decision to have sex is very personal and is going to vary a lot from person to person.
But much more important than the number of people you’ve had sex with is the situation you’ve had sex in. Was it something YOU really wanted to do? Not something you felt pressured into, did to feel attractive, for something to talk about or for temporary attention. Did you feel respected? Did you do it safely? As long as you have been having sex for all the right reasons, the number of people you’ve slept with doesn’t matter. (Although, if you have had a lot of partners I would recommend getting screened for STDs.) As you go into sexual situations in the future, just make sure you’re making careful, conscious and thought-out decisions – and then your “number” will be a non-issue.