The Online Dating Newbie: It Doesn’t Happen Overnight
One Betty continues her online dating experiment, and gets some helpful advice from an expert.
Betty’s own assistant editor made the brave decision to lose her online dating virginity and embark on an experiment looking for love (or just a fling) on the Internet. Here, she chronicles the frustrations, surprises, and excitement of shopping for a beau online. (The online dating veteran’s experiences can be found here.)
I recently went for drinks with Laurie Davis, an online dating expert and founder of eflirtexpert.com. We had met a few months ago at an online dating panel, and I figured I would keep her business card handy just in case I needed any advice in the future. She’s had wild success helping people navigate the messy “web” that is online dating (she has a book in the works and a webisode series, LoveNation), so I would trust her input…
I just didn’t know I’d be needing it so soon.
In my last update, I expressed my frustrations with online dating: the slim pickings of eligible men, the creep factor, and the way it ties me to my computer. After putting up with these things for a few weeks, I decided it was time to call in the reinforcements.
I voiced all of my concerns to Laurie when we met at AVA Lounge, the rooftop bar of the DREAM Hotel in Manhattan (a very nice date spot I might add). She gave me some really great advice that I think will benefit a lot of people, not just me. So pay attention: these tips usually doesn’t come for free.
Broaden Your Horizons
As a starting off point, Laurie asked which dating sites I’m currently on and how long I’ve been on them. I’ve been using Zoosk, How About We, and Date British Guys for over a month now. I shared my experiences with each: DBG has too few people who actually live in the US, Zoosk has too many (and not in a good way), and How About We is better, but I feel like I’m missing out on that one jackpot site: the one that’s chock full of available, young, accomplished, good-looking men.
Laurie offered the following suggestions to help with my problem. First, she suggested I give Zoosk and Date British Guys a rest for the time being, and try two new sites in their place, OKCupid and Match.com. She said OKCupid is where I will find more men in my age range (22-30) who would be up for casually hanging out as well as dating. And, she assured me, Match.com is where all the accomplished men are.