The Online Dating Veteran: The Stalker, Part 2
Some guys just won’t quit!
Lauren Rich is an online dating veteran (the “newbie” can be found here), having logged many hours winking, messaging, and doing the dreaded “meeting in person.” Here, she shares some her most memorable experiences with internet dating.
If you missed part 1 of “The Stalker” be sure you catch up on how this persistent guy got started:
“Bet you never saw this one coming.”
Fast forward another year and a half (a total of just over two years from date #1), and we arrive at Fall 2009. I’m still receiving the usual text about once a month: “Hey Lauren, it’s ‘S.’ How are you? Want to catch up over dinner sometime?” And one particular evening in September, I received said text and instead of my usual “delete,” I thought to myself, you know what? Maybe I would like to catch up over dinner. I mean, hell. Even though I called him “Stalker,” his stalking really was limited to polite text messages every 1-2 months. (Had he shown up at my apartment, that would have been a different story.) And even though yes, he was too much too soon back when we first met, and yes, he was a bit on the boring side, I supposed it was mostly a thing of timing that led me to flee early on. Two years later, I wasn’t seeing anyone else at the moment and thought, what the hell. (Besides, given the roster of winners losers I had dated lately, “S” was starting to look pretty darn good.)
So, I texted him back.
Seeing “S” for the first time in two years was, well, not any different than seeing him that first time two years ago. Looked the same, acted the same – basically everything I expected. And while that spark that seemed to be missing all that time ago still wasn’t quite there, I thought I’d give him a chance. We saw each other twice before what happened next, which I was not expecting.
Date #3 had been set a week in advance for a Friday night, 8pm. 6pm rolls around and I receive: “Hey Lauren. I’m sorry to cancel last minute but I’m feeling under the weather. Can we reschedule for next week?”
While I should have been upset about the last minute cancellation, I instead felt indifference. A date with “S,” a date with my couch and DVR – it was all the same to me. In fact, I was rather proud of “S” for growing a sack of balls and FINALLY saying no to me. A bit of a twisted reaction, yes, but after having him at my beck and call for two years, cancelling last minute was actually – refreshing.
So I agreed to reschedule the date for the following week. Fast forward to said date, and – he cancels. Again. At this point I really didn’t care if I did or didn’t ever see him again, so I never responded to his text. Well, a few days later he wants to set up another date. Alright, I thought to myself, I’ll give it one more go. After responding jokingly, “Sure, but you better not get sick this time. Drink lots of OJ this week,” we had a dinner date scheduled for Saturday at 8pm, location TBD. “I’ll get back to you on the restaurant Saturday morning.”
Saturday morning rolls around. No text. Saturday afternoon. No text. 3pm – I send “Hey, where are we meeting tonight?”
Nothing. Stood. Up.
No response came that day, the next day, or any day for two months. Leaving me to ponder – was this all sort of some master to plan to give me a taste of my own medicine? Whether or not this had been “S’s” plan since the day I broke up with him two years ago, or whether he was genuinely interested and just realized I wasn’t what he had me all cracked up to be when we finally met, I have no idea. And unless he was hit by a cab and is lying dead in a morgue somewhere (gruesome, yes, and also highly unlikely), or met someone else who he is now dating (which, actually – is totally possible) it seems as if “S” – wouldn’t you know it – has had the last laugh.