It’s midnight and the ball is about to descend upon Times Square, but you look around and that special someone to kiss is nowhere to be found. “Alone again this year,” you think to yourself, and then a bomb goes off in your mind, igniting an avalanche of other panicked thoughts as you reflect upon the year: “I thought he was the one!” or “I can’t believe I’m single again!” or “What did I do wrong!” or “I wonder if he’s with her tonight!”
If your love life wasn’t what you thought it would be in 2013, don’t despair. Too often, we feel pressured to have our lives in perfect order on New Year’s Eve, complete with a killer sparkly sequined dress at an over-hyped party and someone to kiss at midnight. When the fireworks don’t go off as planned, we’re left feeling unsatisfied and disappointed. But this is not what ringing in a new year is all about. Instead, it’s a time for renewal, rebirth and new beginnings.
A few years ago, I found myself single on New Year’s Eve, newly separated from my boyfriend and in the depths of despair. I was drained of all my emotional energy and completely disconnected from myself. I needed a new beginning and a new relationship – with myself and eventually, a new boyfriend. Obsessing over what went wrong and forever mourning my failed relationship only made me feel depressed, not motivated to move on. So instead, I wrote myself a list of resolutions based upon the love lessons I learned.
When I started to take my own advice, I immediately felt stronger and more competent because I had created my own roadmap. When I felt brave enough to date again, I used my list to navigate my journey on the road to love. It’s helped me to remember where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, how resiiant I can be and what I want (and don’t want) for my future. I’ve kept my list handy throughout the years, adding to it as needed, and smiling to myself as I re-read each lesson. Though some lessons aren’t applicable anymore, some I still need to remember.
If you want to move forward in 2014, take the time to empty your heart and soul of all the negative energy from your relationships passed. When you make your New Year’s resolutions, instead of lamenting over things gone wrong, write down the lessons you’ve learned so you can move forward. Make a point to start 2014 with a fresh, positive outlook and an open heart to welcome all that the new year has to offer. Here’s my list to get you started.
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