The Stigma of Being Single

This betty blogger is okay on her own, even if other people are not.

Betty Blog

The Stigma of Being Single

I’m just fine with being on my own, even if other people aren’t

-Heidi Isern

Single womanI had recently returned from a family reunion. I went there ecstatic to see everyone and proud to perform a show and tell of my accomplishments; new job, new race time and, most importantly, my new four-inch heels.

None of this, however, seemed important in the mind of my relatives. My Great Uncle Larry interrupted my long winded accomplishment spiel to say, “Heidi I am just so disappointed that you don’t have a nice man to introduce me to. What’s wrong with you and your independent cousin? When will you find a husband?” My so-called independent cousin was busy entertaining two young bartenders. “Ummm … I think we are doing OK …” I mumbled, praying she wouldn’t start doing a strip tease on the bar and disprove my point.

After the reunion, I tried not to let my great uncle’s comments get to me. After all, he was from a different generation when people got married right after puberty set in. I would like to think that the modern man my age expects women to stay sassy single for a long while.

But sadly, this isn’t the case. One first date after another I have heard the same lines from 30-something men. “I just do not understand. You seem great! How is it that you are still single?”

Right. Because most single people are of the non-great variety? Instead of trying to defend myself, going through the ins and outs of my past breakups, career choices and my boyfriends’ tendencies to fall for 22-year-old women named “Bunny”, I am tempted to instead say, “Well, you got me … I have this secret fetish for barnyard animals. It seems to be the one deal breaker in my otherwise fabulous profile.”

I wonder if giving them this (or a less lewd) explanation would make them feel better?

My friend Mazz gets equally puffy-chested when questioned on her single status. She tells me, “Why, I am just too FABULOUS to be with just one person. Why do people not understand that we choose our status. If I truly wanted to settle down and be married to the wrong person, I would be!”

Alexis chimes in “I don’t trust a woman that has not spent a long time on her own. How else do you get personal growth, travel and the ability to change your own oil?”

I agree. But I am not sure what to do with the pitying looks of my married peers. ‘Someday you’ll find someone” they try to console me. In their minds without a “better half” I am only half a person.

But I don’t need consoling. I feel completely whole. With all my trips planned I am not sure I want to find someone right now anyway. And even if I did, can’t I be considered a success all on my own?

Read Heidi’s last blog: I was a Love Addict

Read Heidi’s full blog

follow BettyConfidential on... Pinterest

Read More About...
Related Articles...

0 thoughts on “The Stigma of Being Single

Leave a Reply

top of page jump to top