The Worst Dating Advice EVER from Cosmo for Guys?
Cosmo for Guys is an iPad app/magazine whose dating tips for guys can almost guarantee you a bad dating experience.
If you’ve been having “off” or wierd dating experiences lately, you might want to blame Cosmo for Guys. With articles like “Does Your Female Friend Want You?” “3D Sex Positions She’ll Love,” “How to Freak Her Out on Facebook,” and advice that assures guys that they only need three dates to get a woman, any woman, in bed — it’s enough to make any women a little nervous about accepting a first date.
Look, we all like watching the caveman/retro romance antics in Mad Men, but do we really want to live that type of “courtship?” I think most women would say no. But here we have Cosmo for Guys, an off-shoot of the fun yet slightly backward Cosmopolitan magazine, reiterating old school relationship advice. According to them, a woman’s fave nickname is “Babe.” In the real world, most women have found via experience that a guy will use that word when he can’t remember your name.
CFG recently took a poll about sex (natch!). Some of the results: 50 percent of women think cursing is sexy in bed and the number one thing every woman wants in bed is for guys to be MORE aggressive (their emphasis, not mine).
Excuse me, but aggressive how? Throwing you over his shoulder? Aggressively going “downtown?” Chasing you around the bed? WHAT? Do we need to leave running shoes by our beds?
Oh, and they stated that over 50 percent of women need to hear “I need you now” in bed. If there’s anything that will give a woman chills, it’s the idea of sex by the numbers.
We’re savvy creatures, and if we get the feeling that a guy is mentally reciting dating advice from a manual or a book, we don’t applaud the effort. If he’s hiding behind an article or using methods like the ones mentioned in The Game, we start thinking there’s something wrong with him.
Luckily for most of us, Cosmo for Guys is only available as an iPad application. Lord knows what would happen if these pearls of wisdom were disseminated to the majority of the U.S. male population. Grr. Do we really need this crap in our lives?
PJ Gach is Senior Editor: Style + Beauty at BettyConfidential.