Top 10 Worst Dating Advice Cliches

Or, the single girls' guide to surviving single girls' guides. We like our revisions better!
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Jack Nicholson

Bad dating advice #3: “Nobody’s perfect, especially not you.”

I’m deeply aware of this. See accompanying photo. But thanks for the reminder.

Suggested revision: This video of a dog saying “I Love You.”

Bad dating advice #4: “Nobody will love you until you love yourself.”

Bad dating advice #2 and #3 certainly didn’t do my self-esteem any favors. Now comes this added pressure of worrying some simple self-doubt could be skunk odor to potential mates. You know who seems like he unquestionably, consistently loves himself? Jack Nicholson. It’s something that takes decades of perspective, zero romantic rejections, The Betty Ford Clinic, a Proust questionnaire in the back of Vanity Fair, and a pair of gymnastic eyebrows. That’s not to say you need to be famous to love yourself unconditionally but you may need to be a healthy narcissist with no monthly hormonal fluctuations to trip up your groove. Instead of constant self-love, is there something a little less abstract, and more practical when it comes to partnering up?

Suggested revision: Don’t talk about your poop until you’ve been with someone for a while.

Read Would You Hold Hands With a Stranger?

Bad dating advice #5: “Get out there!”

I get it, you’ll never meet someone if you’re stuck inside, unless your stuck inside on the internet and then you actually might meet someone. Sure, saying yes to opportunities provides exposure and burns off your rusty dating training wheels. Just one question, where’s this ‘there’?

Suggested revision: Internet date. Also read more Shel Silverstein. He has better advice.

Next up: The myth of wearing red and more!

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