Bad dating advice #9: “Don’t be too available!”
If you’re playing by “the rules” you’re supposed to turn a guy’s first date offer down. If you’re (still) in a Jennifer Lopez movie, you should probably slap him for even asking! From my experience, this is not a winning move. It’s also really ambitious to expect a normal, nice guy to assume your “I’m busy” response is code for “go on, ask me again.” I’d imagine most guys don’t mind not getting rejected right away, but what do I know. If it is a major turn-off that I’m free the night a guy asks to hang out, just wait till he sees how often I clean my cat litter. I is not your dream girl.
Suggested revision: It’s okay to be open with the guy you actually want to see again.
Bad dating advice #10: Be yourself.
This is really great advice for people who wear circus stilts and act like they’re their own uncomfortably long legs. Also a very important lesson for Jan Brady, who was never very good at tucking her hair into her wig. Really, ‘be yourself’ is an invaluable in hindsight when you invite a crush back to your high powered corner office only to realize you’re a 16-year-old high school year book editor and not your mom! And it’s especially useful when you’re dressing for a date and can’t decide whether or not to wear a dog with a cigar in his mouth on your shoulders, and wrap a trench coat around the both of you like an upright dog detective.
Suggested revision: Act like you’re not in a sitcom.
Please note, my suggested revisions should not be considered advice from a legal or practical perspective. I’m neither a dating expert nor a human who should be allowed to dispense dating advice to anyone ever, especially to other humans. I am, however, a lover of bad dating advice stories. What’s some of the worst dating advice you’ve gotten? Best answers get free neon necklaces. No, not really. I only have one, okay?
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