Tough Love

Once a man cheats, he will always be a cheater and take part in infidelity.


Tough Love

Once a cheater, always a cheater

-Lily Quateman,

Lipstick on a man's collarThere’s this scene in He’s Just Not That Into You – the point to which most Tough Love posts will eventually return – when Justin Long tells Ginnifer Goodwin that she’s special, she’s an exception to the rule. It’s all very sweet and there’s crying and hugging and a bit of kissing and that all distracts you for a moment from the fact that it’s utter bulls**t.

You see, you are not special and rule-defying, unique in your ability to change someone chronically terrible into a nice, devoted guy. This is not to say that you aren’t special in other ways, merely that the expectation that you’d be able to subvert ages-old male behavioral patterns is quite a lot to ask of yourself. When you read it, this should seem fairly obvious. And yet I continue to field weepy calls and enraged emails from a whole slew of women absolutely shocked that their personal awesomeness wasn’t enough to change a guy completely.

Most mystifying of all are the girls who poach their boyfriends from other women and are then shocked when said guy goes on to cheat on them with someone else. Did you really not see this coming?

Cliche though it may be, the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” comes to mind. It’s a fair bet that the guy who screwed his ex by screwing you will have limited qualms about doing the same thing all over again. But while it was kind of fun and exciting the first time around, once he does it again, you’ll have rotated into the old girlfriend spot. So instead of getting laid, you’ll be the one throwing his shirts out the window, dousing them in lighter fluid and yelling “burn motherf**ker, burn!” (Or something like that…)

I’m not here to judge your initial decision to bang the taken guy-we’ve all been there. Sure, it’s not exactly sisterly of you to hook up with someone else’s boyfriend, but he’s the one who’s made the commitment to someone else, and his part in the affair is a hell of a lot ickier than yours. So before you go down that road again and turn your secret fling into your boyfriend, keep one thing in mind: he’s not worth it. Go ahead, be his dirty little secret for a while, but avoid a legitimate relationship with that guy like the plague.

More from

So Bettys, how can YOU tell if a man is a cheater? Got any horror stories to share?

follow BettyConfidential on... Pinterest

Read More About...
Related Articles...

0 thoughts on “Tough Love

  1. I think there are plenty of men who may have cheated at one time on someone but who have grown up and won’t do it to you. That said I totally agree that it’s idiotic for those who were the “other women” at one time to be surprised when/if that guy cheats on them.

  2. Funny, this was an issue on an episode of Tori and Dean. Tori was worried that Dean could cheat on her and leave her for another woman, just as he done to his previous ex with Tori.

    maybe it’s just karma?

  3. How about this: just enjoy sex and cheat with all the cheaters. Why limit yourself to just one? Stay clean and use condoms and remember married guys don’t want to bring something home to their wives–so they want to stay clean too! Turn about is fair play????

Leave a Reply

top of page jump to top