7. Don’t talk about what a psycho your ex was and all the evil things he did to you. The fact is, you will only be ranting. No specifics. No names. Keep it light and general and have a sense of humor. Otherwise you will look like the psycho.
6. Do be sure to keep it to a limited amount of time: a casual drink or maybe a cup of coffee. Meals are too complicated. When you are deciding where to go, seafood or exotic choices abound. You want to keep the conversation light and moving to see if there are any cues as to where to suggest to go if you want a second date.
5. Don’t order large mixed drinks or the most complicated coffee (half decaf latte no foam with a dash of spice twice shaken and then lightly…UGH!) so as the barista or bartender wants to kill you. Your date will want to also. Light and simple is the best way to go to start. Besides, you may find you want to keep it short and need to end things quickly.
4. Do be prepared to offer to split the bill. A date will always be impressed and grateful that you are independent and have no expectations.
3. Don’t push the bill in their direction no matter how badly the date goes. You don’t want to be rude, after all.
2 and 1: Do be prepared and Don’t take risks. Very few people plan on a one night stand or going to bed on the first date. But, it does happen and condoms are a must no matter your age, gender or any other issue. This is your life we are talking about and if you aren’t packing, then you aren’t playing!
With the exception of the previous do, take everything I’m saying with a grain of salt. I did confess I am in my 40s and still having first dates. Dating is rough no matter how you look at it.
J. Travis has written for Cosmopolitan, Surface and other magazines & newspapers across the country. J will complete a Masters of Science in Strategic Communications from Columbia University this Fall.