What's With the "Stayover Relationship" Trend?

Stayover relationships may be the new norm, but is there really only one type of this sort of relationship?
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What’s With the “Stayover Relationship” Trend?

Stayover relationships may be the new norm, but is there really only one type of this sort of relationship?

-Lucia Peters


You may have heard about the currently trending new type of relationship known as the “stayover relationship.” If you haven’t, here’s the gist of it: More than friends with benefits, but not as committed as a cohabiting couple, the stayover relationship is what happens when two people stay over at each other’s places a couple of nights a week, but don’t actually live there. Usually they don’t even keep any of their stuff over there, but a toothbrush is probably permissible just so you don’t have to go lugging one around with you all the time. (Although maybe you do that already. I don’t know. Do you?)

Anyway, researcher Tyler B. Jamison of the University of Missouri is the woman who made the trend known to the world; she studied this type of arrangement by looking at the relationship behavior of 22 college students and graduates who maintained one and published her findings in an article titled “We’re Not Living Together.” The idea has caught on, and it’s since started surfacing all over the place. Some people think it’s an indication of young Americans being unwilling or unable to commit to stable relationships, while others tend to look at it as being a wise choice connected with wanting to make sure you’re with the right person before settling down. But here’s the angle that no one’s really covered yet: How do stayover relationships compare with other types of relationships?

Take, for instance, the middle-distance relationship.

Read Why It’s Good to Compare Him to Your Exes

You’ve heard of long-distance relationships, but what’s a middle-distance relationship? Basically, it’s a relationship that occupies the middle ground between living within easy transportation distance from each other and living at least a couple of states apart. It’s not that difficult to go over to your significant other’s place, but if you do, you need to bring a change of clothes with you because it’s not close enough for you to just swing by your own place in the morning. Inconvenient, perhaps, but everyone is willing to make sacrifices for the person they love, and this is one that some people make.

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0 thoughts on “What's With the "Stayover Relationship" Trend?

  1. When my boyfriend and I started dating he was less than a year away from leaving for Navy boot camp. We ended up in a “stayover relationship” because it didn’t make sense for us to actually live together with him leaving so soon. Also, I work a 9-6 job and he worked at a bar, so from like 8 or 9 at night to 3 or 4 am. So on the nights he was off, like the author said, it was the best way for us to make the most of our time together.

  2. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and we live about 2 miles from eachother. I’m glad there is a name for our relationship because I’ve asked him to define it and he can’t give me much of an answer. I’ve been previously married and he hasn’t. His take on it: that we should be friends for 1-2 yrs, compatiable in the stayover occassions, share in eachothers lives and talk daily and that one day, bam, he’ll know it’s time to move in toghether. My take on it: he’s either a commitment phobic or is just buying his time until something better comes along. He swears he loves me and can’t think of life without me so what gives. I don’t understand a long-term stayover relationship unless there is distance to overcome. And yes, only my toothbrush is at his place.

  3. I have half of a stayover relationship. Because we are both divorced and have kids living with his. My boyfriend has his kids all the time, I have mine half of the time. When I don’t have my kids the my boyfriend stays over with me. He brings what he needs and stays one or two nights. Leaves nothing here. We live over an hour away from each other and work even further from each other. I don’t complain because we talk every day, email and text. I’ve done this so long that nothing else makes sense unless it becomes really serious, then something would have to give … right?

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