Reggie was Nat’s fiancé at the time. He is now her soon-to-be ex-husband. And though I didn’t have a crystal ball to give me that info in advance, as I read through Nat’s worn copy of why men do indeed love bitches, I realized, I did not want to find the love of my life by being a bitch.
I didn’t want to find him by well-crafted text messages, and by purposely failing to call back. I didn’t want to attract someone because I was submissive and sweet or cold and calculating. I did not want love to be a game. I wanted it to be something beautiful and kind and natural.
Last spring, I met someone. Actually, we had been friends for years, but then one fateful night, he came over to give me a blowout, as in one for my hair. He was in hair school and I needed to look good for a photography session. And that night, we hooked up. And then we continued to hook up until we decided to call it a relationship. I asked him that first night to call me the next day so I didn’t have to worry about what any of it meant. And he agreed. And then he called the day after that and the day after that.
I text him way more than he texts me but he tells me he loves my long rambling messages. And I never doubt that he is going to call because we now live together and I can find him pretty easily. And the thing is there were no games, there has only been love. Because the minute I start wondering what I am supposed to do or how I am supposed to act, I stop being myself. And if someone doesn’t love me for my long rambling texts or my inability to be anything close to coy, submissive or a calculating bitch, then it’s probably best for both of us if they go play games with someone else.