Who Has Time To Date?
I’m too busy to see a doctor, let alone search for true love
I seriously have no time to date. Between work, friends, family, exercise, volunteering, Spanish class, attempts at evolving into a better human being and flossing – when exactly am I supposed to meet my soul mate? I feel like I’d be cheating on my dry cleaner.
This is not a good attitude for a dating columnist. So when I get asked out by a hot doctor this week, I vow to take the time to go for it.
Two hours before the big event, I examine my vitals:
• Nails? Painted.
• Teeth? White stripped.
• Hair? Conditioned, lightened, glossed, conditioned again, dried, brushed and straightened.
• Shoes? Painfully amazing.
• Writing assignment that’s due in the morning? Completed. (Okay, almost completed. Okay, I’ve written my name at the top of the page. But who cares, I am making time to go on a date with a hot doctor!)
I glance at my watch, then stop myself. Instead, I think timeless, positive thoughts. I imagine a vision board filled with puppies and rainbows and…
The phone rings.
“Unfortunately,” he begins, and I gird myself for the inevitable. His voice is gentle but firm. The man is clearly practiced in delivering bad news.
The doctor explains that has to stay late at the hospital for an emergency. He feels bad and promises to make it up to me.
Which I translate to: “I am avoiding you, Carrie, because I find you unattractive and have created an elaborate scheme where I pay my patients to become gravely ill so that I have an excuse to cancel our date.”
Fortunately, I don’t actually articulate these thoughts. Instead, I kick into Midwestern mode and end up apologizing to him: “I am so sorry you’re stuck at work, poor you.”
This whole encounter proves several points:
1. The amount of time/money/energy I spend prepping for a date is conversely proportional to the likelihood of that date actually occurring.
2. I am in need of a self-esteem specialist.
3. There is no pleasing me.
I am perfectly aware that doctors have to stay late because, um, lives kind of depend on it. This is what makes them so incredibly attractive. Excellent work ethic, intelligence and sense of purpose? Triple word score!
And I’m a busy professional myself. I have piles of important projects, critical deadlines and self-tanning to tend to. (Although you don’t see me canceling on him just because Walgreens is having a Banana Boat sale.)
I love that he’s busy! I love that I’m busy! I love that we’re practically too busy for each other! But the 14-year-old in me can’t hide her disappointment when his lifesaving conflicts with her awesome plans for dinner and a movie.
Logic and love are the oldest of frenemies.
When the doctor calls the next morning to reschedule, I hold my breath and check my calendar.
Miracle of miracles, I’m free that night. Except for a manicure, which I decide to cancel. Because this time I’m showing up with chipped nails, a pony tail and some nasty gym socks.
A girl’s gotta be prepared for anything.
Tell us: Are you too busy to date? How do you find time to search for your soul mate?