Would You Accept a First Date Invite Via Text?
Is a phone call too much to ask for these days, or is being asked out via text the new (unromantic) norm?
Romance really is dead. I came to this unfortunate realization a few days ago when I received a two-message text that went something like this: “Hi Faye, it’s Jake [not his real name], we met last weekend. Hope you had a great week! Mine was good but work was really busy… I’m going out of town this weekend, but I’d love to get together for a drink next week – would Tues or Weds work for you?”
How can a girl resist that offer?
Pretty easily, actually. Jake seemed like a nice guy when I met him, and I would’ve went out with him… if he hadn’t blown it with this first date invite text. For starters, why didn’t he just use his phone for what it was originally intended for, CALL ME and use his words to ask me out for the first time? He obviously had a lot to say – a two-message text just seems ridiculous, and it requires zero effort.
Do you know what that means to me when your very first move has no effort involved? It means you’re probably going to also pick a place that’s more convenient for you for our date, you’ll expect to get some at the end despite the fact that you didn’t really do anything exceptional, and that pattern will continue for the rest of our relationship. Why would I want to go out with someone like that?
I’m usually not so against texting, I think it’s a great and useful way to communicate, but it’s situations like this where I find it unacceptable. You text your friends to ask what they’re doing tonight. You text your mom to wish her a great day at work. You text your guy to make plans once you’ve been dating for awhile. But, you don’t text someone you’re trying to “woo.”
Yes, like that girl from Glee, I want to be wooed. Call me old-fashioned, but I expect a phone call when you want to ask me out for the first time. I don’t think that is asking for too much, do you?
My personal bottom line: call me, and you will get the date. Text me, and I feel like I’m nothing special and not worth taking up five minutes of your time. You may be a nice guy, but you will not get a response.
Tell us: what do you think about first date invites via text?
Faye Brennan is senior editor at BettyConfidential.