4. Your insecurity: He’s not that interested.
Your fix: Time for some tough-love. If a guy is interested in you, he shows it. By calling you (before midnight), introducing you to his friends and showing up when he says he will. So if you’re insecure because he’s not doing these things and he may not be interested, you worry with good reason. It’s time to get waaay less interested in him. Cut off your attention and see how he responds – you’ll get an accurate reading on his level of interest within 48 hours of radio silence.
5. Your insecurity: He’s cheating on you.
Your fix: First, ask yourself if you have a good reason to worry about this. Is there someone in particular who concerns you? Has he cheated in the past? Or are your hormones causing you to imagine a telenovela’s worth of betrayal and abandonment for no good reason? If you have legit concerns, talk to him. Immediately. If you still feel uneasy, it could be time to take a breather from the relationship – for your sake and his.
6. Your insecurity: You’re not satisfying him in bed.
Your fix: Listen for his reaction, watch his face and feel his, um, response to what you’re doing. Then ask for feedback – both before the big event (with flirtatious, sexy questions on what exactly he likes) and during the deed (with more subtle yes/no, harder/softer, thisaway/thataway cues). Also encourage him to let you know what’s working and what’s not – that conversation on its own will be a huge turn-on.
7. Your insecurity: He’s not attracted to you anymore.
Your fix: There’s nothing less attractive than a girl who’s doubting her hotness. Give yourself a pep talk, some sexies undies and a dose of love from Lady Gaga: “When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl,” she says in Rolling Stone magazine. “Then I say, ‘Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.'” Walk the walk, bitches!
8. Your insecurity: Another woman is stealing his attention.
Your fix: Tell him to knock off the flirting in front of you. As Andrea says, he can flirt on his own time. And then try one of these 30 little tricks to get his attention back.
Tell us: What are your dating insecurities and how do you fix them?
Carrie Seim, Betty’s L.A. Correspondent, is a writer and comedian keeping it real in L.A., New York and @ carrieseim.com.