Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

When you know your friend's boyfriend is bad news, here is how to let her know that he's not the one for her.
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Your Friend’s Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

When you know your friend’s man is bad news, here is how to let her know.

-Justin DeMarco

Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there are definitely functional partnerships and dilapidated ones. 

A friend of mine is currently in a ramshackle relationship and has been, surprisingly, for a while. She works a full-time job, cooks and cleans when she comes home after a long day, does the dishes, and then throws out the trash before going to bed. Her boyfriend searches for work (a.k.a playing video games all day long), makes a mess in the apartment she pays for, and watches movies at night while she sleeps. Then he wakes up in the afternoon and starts his day over again.

Occasionally, he’ll pay for food at the grocery store, cook a dinner or two, or clean. She’s happy with him and he makes her laugh, she says. When they hang out with our group of friends, she’s the one who picks up his tab. I’m still waiting to see the guy take out his wallet, if he does, in fact, have one.

As far as I’m concerned, she’s on the wrong end of a one-sided relationship.

Read Guys Answer: Why Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Friends Won’t Talk to You Anymore

I’ve attempted to delicately tell her he’s not the best option for her and other times have been blunt, using words such as “deadbeat” and “loser” to describe him. It doesn’t matter what I say since she always comes to his defense.

Sure, each person has his or her faults and you don’t really understand a relationship unless you’re in it, but come on. WAKE UP!

“I think telling your friend about her shitty boyfriend is a lose-lose situation,” Zeenie, a 27-year-old, New York Fashion Designer of, said. “I try to give a watered down version of what a douche bag I think her boyfriend is, but nothing good comes from it. Your friend will never break up with her boyfriend because you have pointed out his flaws. They are either already aware of these flaws or are in denial. So by pointing out how much you dislike him it only causes an awkward situation for you and your friend.”

As a friend, you want to prevent an Ike and Tina, Tiger and Elin, Chris Brown and Rihanna, Britney and K-Fed, or Sandra Bullock and Jesse James disastrous situation before it happens.

“I tell my friends to look at their boyfriend’s Facebook photos or Wall-to-Wall conversations with other people,” Danielle, a 23-year-old actress, said. “That will let you know a lot about what a person does on a daily basis. I’ve seen relationships end because of Wall-to-Wall conversations on Facebook.”

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9 thoughts on “Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

  1. This is such a tough situation, especially when there are gray areas. It can also be tough to decide whether the guy is really a deadbeat or just not someone you get along with. No matter what, you have to support your friend no matter what.

  2. I’ve been in this situation a couple times and it is very hard! You don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings by saying her BF sucks, but at the same time, you hate to see her be treated like crap. I think the only time I would risk our friendship in order to tell her her BF is awful is if they got engaged or moved in together — something serious where more would be at stake if they broke up.

  3. I am in the same situation right now…the first time I met my friend’s boyfriend he was drunk, well, we all were tipsy. She made a point of telling him when she introduced him to us that we would tell her our opinion of him…he missed that, because all he did was hang on her. Later when she asked me what I thought I told her that I was undecided because I hadn’t had a chance to get to know him, so she threw it in my face about a guy I had liked that she didn’t even know but had seen. I still haven’t made my mind about him and she hasn’t asked again…we’ll see how it goes.

  4. well I have a friend whose relationship started because of me and it's a very scary one I may have put her in. once they had a fight and he took her phone away so she couldn't call anyone to come get her, another time after she was accidentally pregnant, they were going to go to his sisters but she wasn't feeling good and didn't want to go but said he could go, she was already in his car but he basically I think said no you're going and he started driving, I get a call from her on my cell and she asked me how I was and what I was doing, she knew I was at work, so I said I was doing a delivery, she suddenly asked me to come get her because of that kidnapping if you will, I heard her yelling and screaming at him, I am guessing people heard them and the cops got called, he did take her home but still, she stayed with him even though after the phone thing, she said if anything like that happened again it would be over.. She ended up moving in with him and on his birthday they got into a fight and he accidentally slammed the front door which is glass and it went into her arm around the elbow and now there is a huge scar. this guy was willing to live without electricity and water. she isn't willing to obviously so she was looking for another place and she and him now live together still but in another place. she could have died or lost and arm, that is how bad the cut was. if I had a way to post the picture, I would. she and I were planning on going to Yankee Stadium for a retirememnt ceremony that is coming up but she says she told me to hold off, she didn't, I made a mistake out of being upset, I decided to talk to her about how concerned I am about her. I blame myself truthfully for anything that happens to her in the relationship but didn't tell her that, all I told her was that I wake up because of being concerned about her and she told me I was overly concerned and was uncomfortable and asked me to take her hom which I did, said she would call in a few days, she had to think, she didn't call though. we don't talk or text or anything really so I am assuming she does blame me for everything and hates me and the boyfriend that I got a bad vibe about in december for some reason is probably happy I am basically out of her like and not seeing or talking to her, now she's alienated me and I am lost as to just let her go and move on or hope she calls and wants to talk or see each other even.

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