Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

When you know your friend's boyfriend is bad news, here is how to let her know that he's not the one for her.
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Your Friend’s Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

When you know your friend’s man is bad news, here is how to let her know.

-Justin DeMarco

Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there are definitely functional partnerships and dilapidated ones. 

A friend of mine is currently in a ramshackle relationship and has been, surprisingly, for a while. She works a full-time job, cooks and cleans when she comes home after a long day, does the dishes, and then throws out the trash before going to bed. Her boyfriend searches for work (a.k.a playing video games all day long), makes a mess in the apartment she pays for, and watches movies at night while she sleeps. Then he wakes up in the afternoon and starts his day over again.

Occasionally, he’ll pay for food at the grocery store, cook a dinner or two, or clean. She’s happy with him and he makes her laugh, she says. When they hang out with our group of friends, she’s the one who picks up his tab. I’m still waiting to see the guy take out his wallet, if he does, in fact, have one.

As far as I’m concerned, she’s on the wrong end of a one-sided relationship.

Read Guys Answer: Why Your Ex-Boyfriend’s Friends Won’t Talk to You Anymore

I’ve attempted to delicately tell her he’s not the best option for her and other times have been blunt, using words such as “deadbeat” and “loser” to describe him. It doesn’t matter what I say since she always comes to his defense.

Sure, each person has his or her faults and you don’t really understand a relationship unless you’re in it, but come on. WAKE UP!

“I think telling your friend about her shitty boyfriend is a lose-lose situation,” Zeenie, a 27-year-old, New York Fashion Designer of Zeeniecouture.com, said. “I try to give a watered down version of what a douche bag I think her boyfriend is, but nothing good comes from it. Your friend will never break up with her boyfriend because you have pointed out his flaws. They are either already aware of these flaws or are in denial. So by pointing out how much you dislike him it only causes an awkward situation for you and your friend.”

As a friend, you want to prevent an Ike and Tina, Tiger and Elin, Chris Brown and Rihanna, Britney and K-Fed, or Sandra Bullock and Jesse James disastrous situation before it happens.

“I tell my friends to look at their boyfriend’s Facebook photos or Wall-to-Wall conversations with other people,” Danielle, a 23-year-old actress, said. “That will let you know a lot about what a person does on a daily basis. I’ve seen relationships end because of Wall-to-Wall conversations on Facebook.”


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7 thoughts on “Your Friend's Boyfriend Sucks: How To Tell Her

  1. danggirl says:

    Alas, there’s really no way to tell someone her boyfriend sucks. Unless he’s abusive, I think the best route is to stay out of it.

  2. uptowngirl says:

    This is such a tough situation, especially when there are gray areas. It can also be tough to decide whether the guy is really a deadbeat or just not someone you get along with. No matter what, you have to support your friend no matter what.

  3. Fashionista says:

    I’ve been in this situation a couple times and it is very hard! You don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings by saying her BF sucks, but at the same time, you hate to see her be treated like crap. I think the only time I would risk our friendship in order to tell her her BF is awful is if they got engaged or moved in together — something serious where more would be at stake if they broke up.

  4. bobbimariah says:

    when you tell your friend her bf sucks then you usually get blamed and it’s awkward and he hates u – like lauren and heidi and spencer in the hills

  5. bobbimariah says:

    when you tell your friend her bf sucks then you usually get blamed and it's awkward and he hates u – like lauren and heidi and spencer in the hills

  6. bobbimariah says:

    when you tell your friend her bf sucks then you usually get blamed and it’s awkward and he hates u – like lauren and heidi and spencer in the hills

  7. minxie says:

    I am in the same situation right now…the first time I met my friend’s boyfriend he was drunk, well, we all were tipsy. She made a point of telling him when she introduced him to us that we would tell her our opinion of him…he missed that, because all he did was hang on her. Later when she asked me what I thought I told her that I was undecided because I hadn’t had a chance to get to know him, so she threw it in my face about a guy I had liked that she didn’t even know but had seen. I still haven’t made my mind about him and she hasn’t asked again…we’ll see how it goes.

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