Blind Date: A Real Guy’s Strange, Hilarious Story
The play by play on my colorful, memorable, strange blind date.
I have always been opposed to blind dating. If regular dating isn’t nerve wracking and uncomfortable enough, putting the word “blind” before “date” just amplifies the unappealing nature of the situation. However, last Wednesday, after much coercing, I went on a double date with my buddy, Andy, and his girlfriend, Danielle. They set me up on a blind date with one of Danielle’s actress friends.
I tried to weasel my way out of this potentially awkward situation. Any time Danielle asked me if a certain night worked, I came up with an excuse why it wouldn’t. Danielle asked me what my schedule looked like for the next month.
“I’m really, really busy,” I said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go on this date.”
“Bullsh*t,” she said. “No one is that busy, especially not you.”
We set the date for November 3rd at 9:00 p.m. We’d all meet at the bar.
November 3, 2010:
7:45 p.m. EST: I’m sitting in my apartment watching the Islanders game. Danielle sends me a text.
Maybe the date will be cancelled? Sweet! I can watch the Isles game.
Danielle says her friend (let’s call her Veronica from now on) needs to push the date back. 9:30 p.m. is the new call time.
9:30: I arrive at the bar and see Andy and Danielle sitting on a bench outside.
9:55: Andy, Danielle, and me are still sitting on a bench outside. Veronica is 25 minutes late. She’s officially missed her “fashionable entrance.”
-1 point to Veronica – it’s one thing to be a few minutes late, but it’s another to be the last one to the bar when you live the closest.
9:56: Danielle texts Veronica to see where she is. We sit down at a table outside in the back of the place and start drinking. Andy and Danielle on one side, me on the other with an empty chair next to me.
10:03: Danielle’s phone vibrates on the table. It’s Veronica. She’s outside. Danielle goes to the front of the bar and brings her over to our table.
10:05: I go to shake Veronica’s hand. She gives me a hug.
Maybe she’s not so bad.
+1 point to Veronica – for not being socially awkward.
10:06: While I’m still standing, I ask Veronica what she wants to drink.
“Sure,” she says.
“Well, what do you want?”
“Hmmmm,” she sits at the table confused.
“You want a beer?” Andy asks.
“I don’t drink beer,” she says.
-1 point to Veronica.
“I’ll take a vodka tonic.”
-1 point to Veronica, erased. I’m a vodka tonic fan too.