Boyfriends Who Became Good Friends
By: Kara Posner
At our wedding, my husband and I each invited people that we had previously dated. I adore his previous girlfriends, and he went out to his bachelor party with a guy I once dated. While all of these people are good friends now, it was not easy to transition romances into friendships. For me, it took some serious soul searching and hard questions, like: “Am I kidding myself? Am I just trying to keep him close?” Or in other circumstances the question was, “Can I do this, can I forgive him for not loving me the way I wanted and move past it?” After feeling like I had a satisfying answer to each of these questions, it still took time, some work and more time for my heart to catch up to my head. Each relationship had its own baggage to heave-ho, and some relationships could never have made the transition. Sometimes there was no friendship supporting the passion. But for those special ones, we have deeper knowledge of each other than with people who have only been friends. It’s like a whole different kind of friend with benefits.
Do you find it possible to transition from boyfriend to buddy?
- I can’t imagine wanting to see any of those guys again. Not a chance.
- Naw thanks. I’m really like some of my exes, but it would be too tough to see them with other girls.
- There’s potential; I could definitely stand to see some of my exes again, but it would be hard to get past the past.
- Totally possible. The magic can’t last with everyone I date, and what an ego boost that I’m attracted to some good people.