But you would make a great mom
By: Jennifer Morrison
On those wonderful nights where you sit around with your girlfriends and a bottle of wine, there is usually some point in the conversation where you start talking about having kids. Do you want them, how many, when, would you consider adoption? I am often the one who is not ambivalent about this topic. I don’t want to have kids.
I don’t dislike children. In fact I think they are adorable. And for those of my friends and family fortunate enough to have children, I am genuinely happy for them.
Lucky for me, I have friends who love, understand and support me. The rest of the world, however, seems unsettled about my decision. The typical response is, “Oh, you’ll change your mind when you get older” or “but you would make a great mom.” This is the point where I usually clam up, realizing that this person doesn’t really know me at all.
The thing is, I can think of a million reasons why I don’t want to raise a child and only one reason why I do. The pro and cons run through my mind every time someone negates my feelings. Why are they compelled to express that they know me better than I know myself? Why can’t they contemplate that I don’t want to experience being a mom? And if I told them the one reason I would like to have a child, I fear they might think I am a horrible person. The one reason is: I don’t want to die alone. There, I said it. Having a child would be the one thing that I could do that just might alleviate my fears. In my heart I know this is the worst reason to have a child. So, am I deluding myself when I say I don’t want kids? Quite the contrary, it’s one of the toughest decisions I have ever made.